Hi everyone! This is really random and all, but I felt that since H!P fans have been kind of swayed by RIVER and its popularity, maybe I can try to lure in a few of the weak hearts by showing them the fiercest team and their fiercest stage! This ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why you should give AKB a chance! So, let’s take a look at it! (BTW, this isn’t a serious attempt, if it were, I’d be pushing Team B because for some reason H!P fans always love them the most. Must be the overall youthfulness and cuteness overflowing everywhere. But I just want to gush about Team K, so shut up.)

Warning: There are lots and lots of Yuko screencaps about to get posted <3 And also, this review will have like a thousand pics so be prepared! Also, all of the H!P jokes here are meant to be in a good light hearted way. I’m still a H!P fan, so I don’t say any of this out of evilness or anything.

Disclaimer: All lyrics courtesy of Studio48! All translations and lyrics belong to their rightful owner.

Overture

It’s Captain Sayaka! Ok, so as part of my H!P fan capturing plan, I’ll try to compare Team K members with H!P members of similar characteristics. This is sort of a way to get all of you interested in a girl depending on what type of idol is your favorite. So, anyway, if you’re a Yossie fan, look no further than Sayaka. Sure, her boyish side isn’t as highlighted as Yossie’s was, but she’s also a strong and funny girl who cares very much about others deep down.

You know, Umechan actually auditioned for Momusu, she was rejected and Tsunku went and picked Koharu… Well, well, who’s her H!P counterpart? I’d go for Shimizu Saki of Berryz, because they are both amazing dancers, and they are sort of in the background at times. That’s where the similarities end though, because while Saki is a little more outspoken and fun-loving, Umechan is a quiet girl, very gentle and calm.

Oh! It’s my favorite member ever! Yuko <3 If I were to compare her to anyone, it would probably be Goto Maki, since they both have that kind of starpower to them, they definitely own the stage at any given time, and they can be quite goofy and funny whenever they want to as well. The difference is that while Gocchin always had an aura of “coolness” to her, Yuko is more of an outright nice girl character. They’re both tsundere too!

Meetan, the queen of all things pervy in the 48 family. The only girl who could match her devious personality a bit, is Melon Kinenbi’s Boss Saitou. They’re both overtly sexual in a way, but they also get to be the butt of jokes most of the time and are really good sports at it

Maachan the halfie loli of AKB… I don’t really know, because she’s extremely introverted so I really am a bit clueless as to how her real character might be, but uh… she can be a coconuts musume right? With her being a halfie and all *fails*

Meet little princess Erepyon! She’s kind of similar to Berryz Risako in that they’re both lolis, have a million photobooks and are quite popular with the fans! They’re also kind of spoiled, wouldn’t you agree?

Tomo~mi-chan! Who could be the Ishikawa Rika of Team K. They’re both super girly and always happy, they both have high pitched voices and are both kind of jokingly bullied by their friends for their overly girly behavior at times.

Asuka is the prototypical pretty girl with a soothing voice. So she could be like Kumai Yurina (favorite Berry <3), and I actually think that their relaxed feminine personalities are quite alike too!

Kana, being dumb as a rock, is the perfect mirror for Tsuji Nozomi! And they’re both kinda tone deaf at times too!

The unexpectedly smart girl who’s kind of a background character, going by that definition alone, Nacchi could very well be paired with gokkie Konno Asami. Only Konkon was painfully quiet, while Nacchi is outspoken and likes to do gags and MCs…

Naruru was the Linlin of Team K. You know, they’re both funny, and incredibly talented but terribly overlooked… Oh well, she’s graduated already, so…

Nontii! How I’ll miss her! Ok, I’ve always thought that she kind of looks like Ogawa Makoto. And they’re also both funny girls, whose whole act is based on being tsukkomis. Of course, maybe Mako would’ve have to be way more over the top to match Noro’s level, but in general, I’d say that AKB girls are way more over the top H!P girls anyway…

Kaorin is like Berryz Maiha because they were both cute lolis who were kind of in the background and then graduated to keep studying Aren’t I the smartest??

Yuka’s voice is a stereophonic orgasm. I think that that makes her a bit like Natsuyaki Miyabi, they’re both great singers and mellow girls with a few little quirks to them

Nattsumii physically looks like Miyabi but she’s already taken so I’ll pick someone else I think that she’s like Niigaki Risa in that they’re both super nice to others, and super happy whenever they are on stage too!

Hmm… this is really difficult! Sae is such an energetic girl that it’s really hard for me to compare her to anyone in H!P. She’s one of the most over the top personalities in the already over the top AKB. The only one who could match that level of genki-ness and the versatility to fit in any song despite of that is Yaguchi Mari!

OMG! Look it’s the title screen! This stage’s title is: Saishuu Bell ga Naru (The last bell rings)

 

1. M.A.M.M.O.T.H “Even if the environment changes, more than anyone, it ferociously survives”

This song is the best Stage starter ever IMO. It’s simply full of energy in the fiercest way possible!

OMG Yuko! She’s front and center in this too, and you see, this choreography is full of jumps and fist pumping action, and she’s the best at it, it’s really impressive. (No, I’m not biased at all)

Rock it Erepyon! Well, she isn’t exactly one to rock anything at all, but she really tries her best though…

It’s funny (and adorable) to see Kasai trying so hard, the funny part is that she ends up looking sexy, but not scary at all!

You know, the truth is that, as much as I love this song, I kind of… Don’t get its meaning at all. I’m still unsure about whether it’s a song about global warming or simply a scary one about random mammoth spirits that awoke in order to kill all of mankind. Either way, it could be the next big movie right?

You see, for some reason unbeknownst to me, Erena is the easiest member to cap, so you’ll be seeing a lot of her

Yuuuuukooooo! *dies* Anyway, I like how this song is kind of mysterious sounding even though it does have hints of hip hop or something like that thrown in, it gives off a more dramatic effect.

I really like the costumes too. It looks like a school uniform but with a wild twist to it, because of all the ripped cloths over the skirts. The one thing I don’t like all that much is that some girls are given pant thingies, and while it helps keep a diverse look, it just… well, it kind of looks off to me

Of course, this type of songs is where Sayaka shines the most

Avatar Yuko looks cute in blue! (Lamest joke ever, I know)

Mochi! I love her hairpiece too, it looks kind of tribal and all!

OMG! Look! It’s almost a Maachan smile! That’s like the rarest item in the pokeworld!

Kaorin! She’s so sweet and adorable, but you know, the best thing about her is that she really tried hard to get in the mood of the song, no matter how hard she might fail at it.

Nontii is a really good dancer, and I’m sure that she’ll do great in SDN. Actually, I want their first stage to be over already so that we can finally take a look at their first stage DVD!

I remember someone once said that whenever Perfume’s Kashiyuka danced, it was amazing because her hair just followed her moves and it looked pretty neat. Well, it’s the same with Tomo~mi, I just always wondered how come it doesn’t bother her? I mean, it’s kind of bothersome to have your hair get in the way, but I’ve never seen her trying to adjust it or put it back or anything…

Ok, this is just weird. WTF is going on there? Sae looks like she just became possessed by one of the killing mammoth ghosts…

Cool formation is cool

OMG! It’s possessed Sae again! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Oh Yuko, why are you so cool?

Look at the hair ornament! Isn’t it neat? I want one!

You don’t know how numb by finger got from trying to get the only split second of camera time for poor Naruru

LOL Mochi looks surprisingly not really into it in this cap XD

 

Ok, so here’s the thing. I’ll really try my best to finish this one. Just, right now, it’s already midnight and Im falling asleep, so before I write any more nonsense, let’s wrap it up here!