Warning: Swearing ahead. I swear like a sailor IRL and this is very stream of consciousness so read at your own risk.

So, here’s the thing. I received my copies of Ue Kara Mariko today, I had even forgotten about those lol I didn’t even want to bother with them because I kind of hate that single, and I regret spending so much money in it, but I decided that as long as I already have them, might as well open them and see what I got in the picture department, just out of curiosity because I’m never lucky with these things.

I open the bubble wrap, and turns out that the CDJ bonus pic is Reinyan plus Sakiko in their Danso gear. FYI, Reinyan is in my top 10, so I was happy and smiled a bit. Then I opened my Team B CD, because it was the first one, and OMG. I got a Yui picture you guys ;_; and it was just her face, smiling her beautiful smile and uhhh her eyes are so pretty and she looks so happy, I love her guuuuuuhhhh how could I ever think of leaving this fandom Yui needs me 🙁 I literally gasped and started tearing up when I saw her picture. No kidding. Idols are SRS BSNS.

Then I opened Type K and there was Reinyan there. OMG. Another Reinyan picture ;_; And OMG she needs me too, because nobody remembers the time when she was in senbatsu any more, and because I love how much she loves Team K and she was Maimai’s best friend, and gosh I love Maimai guuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

And then I opened Type A and… there was a picture of Chiyuu ;_; who is my favorite Team B member and overall top 4. And I looked at her and thought of how lovely she looked and how she’s been so brave in the face of idiotic wotas and her pelvic disease and the inept shitbags of HoriPro who fail to push her. And how she cried so much when she was shuffled out of Team K because she loved them so much, but she still set out to do her best, even though she’s only slipping in popularity more and more. And I’m crying again you guys.

I’m not an emotional person at all, I swear this was all so weird… I don’t really believe in fate, but a coincidence like this? Wtf.

Anyway, I’ll wipe my tears and brave through the music and PVs of this single because of my babies. Because of Yui, Reinyan and Chiyuu. Yup.

So here you have it: The weirdest pseudo transcendental review you’ll ever read. Brought to you by the powers that be, who confabulated to include pics of Cat’s top 5 members in her otherwise hated Ue Kara Mariko CDs in order for her to be touched and weep like a baby to the Kajiura Music iTunes is playing right now, and make her actually listen to and write a proper post about AKB’s music for the first time in months. Yup.


So, let’s start with Type A.

1. Ue Kara Mariko (Mariko from the top): I’ll be honest with you guys. I don’t think there’s ever going to be a chance for me to like this song for what it is. It sounds like UG stuff, especially like Dakishimechaikenai mixed with some verses straight out of whatever filler Stage song (lol Stage song. Good times.) The chorus is a little catchier but it still fails to impress me. Ugh the break is stupid. I hate it. I’ve heard it a million times before wtf. (also, I am aware that this is idol music, that doesn’t mean it has to suck though)

Also, I’m mad about the fact that this song is entirely about Mariko. I’ve never felt strongly about her either way. I know that there was a time where she was hated by a lot of international fans because of her absences from the theater, but I didn’t care about that much, since my oshi was Oshima Mai who was literally never around lol. I honestly thought Mariko would graduate before Mai, but that didn’t happen, she just never graduated and probably never will lol. I thought she could be funny some times, and sassy and all that was alright. But I never really cared for her, and honestly, I care even less now that there’s a whole song about her supposed “sadistic” character.

I get it, Sado was an amazing character in Majisuka, but come on. It’s not the unfairness of the fact that the whole song is about her, it’s the fact that I don’t care about her at all tbh. If this was a song about Reinyan I’d be all over it, seriously, but a song about Mariko? Bleh. And it sucks, to make things even worse.

Why do Janken singles always get the worst themes? Ugh. At least Chance no Junban is a cheer up kind of song that you could possibly relate to, but this? lol whatever.

Move over Namida Surprise, here’s the worst AKB A-side ever for me!

2. Noel no Yoru (Noel’s Night): You see, AKB is such an original group that they repeat everything they did last year. Including the B-sides of their singles and their tie in campaigns. I’m overwhelmed by the sheer originality of everything they do /bitter.

I don’t really like this song. I’m annoyed that Maeda gets the only solo line (wrong fandom to be in amirite amirite) and the synth sounds like a really cheap H!P B-side.

Yoyaku shita Christmas at least had a memorable melody line. Or I’m biased and in denial.

Oh wait, Yuko gets a solo too! I LOVE THIS SONG 😀 lol j/k. Anyway, let’s give credit where it’s due: It’s always nice to hear something different from the 5 person lines in every other AKB single or B-side. And the little almost a capella verse is cute.

Verdict: Cute but completely forgettable and someone needs to destroy that synth.

3. Rinjin wa Kitsuzukanai -Team A- (The Neighbor won’t be hurt): I can’t write that third word in the title to save my life. This song is right up my alley <3 It sounds dark and mysterious and I’m absolutely head over heels with it!!!! Why can’t A-sides be like this? 🙁 Obviously Akimoto gives his best song to Team A because lol he doesn’t even pretend he cares about the other teams. Sucks to be a fan of anyone else (especially Team 4)

I don’t even know what else to say about the song, I think it’s musically interesting in the way the verses are organized and the little refrains, this is totally going to be my jam this winter (although there aren’t seasons in my country :D)

Now let’s do PVs 🙂 Since I didn’t care for this single AT ALL after listening to the preview of the title track, I’ve never watched them. I might have had an epiphany of Team K love with the pictures that came with the single but even that won’t make me screencap it right now xD

1. Ue Kara Mariko:


Basically… The PV is amazing 🙁 I can’t believe this awesome video was paired with such a stupid song lol.

So we get a little bit of back story (just the way I like my AKB PVs <3) where we see Minegishi, Fujie and Kobayashi (a KKS) talking about how they are selecting the next class president through Janken, and Miichan is obviously stoked and being her usual “shaku” self. Reinyan is a bit unsure of how she’d do at it, and then they see Mariko the teacher walking by, they all admire her and think she’s really cool and whatever.

Then there’s a scene where a discouraged Reinyan is praising her cool teacher and Mariko tells her that they are very much alike, but Fujie doesn’t believe it. Shinoda says “Hair ornaments suit you”. Apparently, when Mariko was a student she won the tournament and became class president.

Then we move to the actual tournament, and it bummed me a bit that the girls who placed lower in the ranks aren’t included in the story part. Mostly because Maeda Ami fails to impress me and there’s a ton of her instead of Suzuran, Mizuki or Chiyuu who are girls I really like lol. Better luck to my favorites next time I guess… The funny thing is that they managed to leave the SKE and NMB girls almost completely out of the picture (NMB girl is also really uncharismatic from the 2 secs of screentime she got) but I’m sure that if Jurina had placed even last she would’ve been center or something. Oh Akimoto, you are such a rascal.

Anyway, the tournament goes on and on until the final between Miichan and Reinyan, and we get to see Fujie sulking in the floor thinking she’s never going to make it, and then Mariko comes in and without saying anything, pins a white flower ornament in her hair and smiles at her. We see some sort of flashback that Mariko was wearing this ornament and a white dress when she won, then Reina *~miraculously~* changes into the white dress and beats Miichan, everyone is joy joy happy and I’m smiling like an idiot 🙂

Sayaka in senbatsu makes me happy btw, and Mariko’s performance in this was flawless and made me like her more.

I still hate the song though. And I think that Mariko is a terrible center for some reason 😡 when I was watching the live performance she didn’t catch my eye even once. But well, this is her moment in the spotlight let her enjoy it.

2. Noel no Yoru:


Standard fare of girls doing christmasy stuff, pretty cute except for the fact that they gave Yui the worst outfit I have ever seen in my life ughhhhh. Also Sumire and Lovetan <3 Cute.

I kind of hate how washed out they all look with their pink and white outfits and honestly that furry thing in the hem of their hats looks cheap.

Takamina needs to dye her hair a darker shade again, light hair has never done it for her IMO.

And well, yeah, none of this matters because you see, this is the second time in recent AKB history that there’s a shared center between Maeda and Yuko 😮 I guess Ota Pro just pestered them to do it this way because of Yuko’s drama (which I totally haven’t watched lol I’m the worst fan ever) but I really really hope this continues because Yuko is amazing and she should be center. I don’t even care about sounding biased or hurting somebody’s *~feelings~* by saying that. I’m a badass like that.

3. Rinjin wa Kitsuzukanai:


Team A was conceptual and pulled it off beautifully with Kurumi to Dialog last year, and after hearing their song I wanted them to have a kickass PV and I wasn’t let down. I love the contrast between the dark look (both Maedas greatly impressed me with their beauty in this setting) and the pure innocent white dresses in the forest. I feel like there’s potential for a lot of symbolism in the video and I would like to go back to it when I’ve read the translated lyrics, but so far I’m a fan.


Now let’s move on to K version.

Here I’m going to tell a bit of a backstory (why the hell not, this is already almost 3000 words long lol). Last year was really tough for me, I was out of uni and had to move back with my parents and well, it was really hard. It’s annoying to have them pester you about the smallest things, and at some point things got really bad and it seemed like they just didn’t want to support me anymore. This was all around the time Chance no Junban was released, and ALIVE really really resonated with me with its lyrics about pushing forward no matter what, even if you are completely alone and if you feel like you can’t go on. I have a special connection to that song, and it made me anticipate this year’s Team K song a lot.

Ok, so after storytiem, here comes the review

Zero Sum Taiyou (I have no idea what this means lol): I like this song, sure, it’s not a rocking and head banging anthem like ALIVE, but it sounds really Team K-ish and I missed that kind of sound. Basically, this could’ve fit right in K4 and it makes me nostalgic and I want to cry again BAWWWW MY LOST YOUTH why am I so full of feelings today?

Anyway, this one is a bittersweet love song and I like how it sounds like something out of the 90s. Basically, I’m disappoint that it’s not the second coming of ALIVE (or Korogaru or Hana to Chire or MARIA or Blue Rose or KimiPega or Yume no Kane…) but I like the song for what it is and it sounds pretty cool.

Now the PV review:


This PV is so perfect <3 I was hurt that so many people hated it though 🙁 I’m always hurt when people hate anything Team K does because I can’t deal with people hating on the things I like. Yes I need to grow up. Anyway, in this PV we have 2 parts, the first one is basically a dance shot, and the girls are all dressed up as guys in suits and ties and some of them wear hats and Sae makes me question my sexuality for the umpteenth time in this fandom but what else is new xD

My Team K bitches are so fierce man! Especially Yuko! Wow! Those dance sequences look kickass because of how many great dancers Team K has. Sayaka looks lovely too and ofc Yui my baby although she looks nothing like a boy. Also Akimoto, stop trying to make Tomochin happen, it’s not gonna happen.

I always forget that Tanamin, Yonechan and Nakatsuka are in AKB lol they looked pretty good in this PV though. And well, everyone else does too except for Miichan and that horrible hat. Yikes.

Anyway, the second part of the PV is where people started going wtf and hating on the PV. Here’s a picture of their costumes:


when most people saw that they went “lolomg peacocks? what is this?” but actually, they are dressed up as otokoyaku from the Takarazuka Revue. Otokoyaku are the women who play men, btw. I know next to nothing about Takarazuka and I would’ve probably been in the wtf camp if it wasn’t for the fact that Sae cosplayed as an otokoyaku for the AKBINGO Iromoea game a million years ago.

So yeah. Anyway, I love this concept so much! I know for a fact (not really) that Team K seems to be very popular with girls in the west but Idk if they have the same appeal in Japan. What I do know is that they are supposed to be the cool team, and according to many young girls in Japan, it doesn’t get much cooler than “Danso” (that is girls wearing boys clothes and acting like boys) so it fits.

Also, the song is sung from a male POV, but that happens with a LOT of AKB songs anyway so it’s not that relevant.

I just want to say that Yuko is an amazingly expressive performer and I could really feel the intensity of her emotions in the PV, which again reminded me of how much I love her. ILU YUKO NEVER CHANGE.

Finally, Type B:


Yobisute Fantasy (A fantasy where you call me by my first name): I like this song 🙂 It’s cute and really bouncy and makes me smile! 😀 I was probably the only person in the world who loved Love Jump last year, and this time it’s no different. It kinda sounds like a shoujo anime opening from my childhood although I can’t remember which one. Anyway, it brings me happy memories and that makes me love it. There’s this weird part where they all say their first names but I didn’t even notice it until I payed really close attention xD It doesn’t bother me at all.

BTW, a little bit of context. In Japan it’s customary to call people by their last name unless you’re really close to that person, so the girl in the song wants to become so close to the person she likes that he’ll call her by her first name. Cute.

Now the PV review:


It’s really cute, and probably my favorite of the bunch! That might be because it’s also really fucked up lol There’s this really weird teddy bear that turns them from marionettes into real girls, and Mayu and Yuki are in love again and Chiyuu is perfect <3 I want all of their costumes too, this just looks so fun! It’s like what idol music should be like 🙂

Also, the theater version included Team 4’s song, Hashire Pengin, which was originally going to be the A-side until Mariko asked them to use a different song so they went off and wrote her the worst AKB song ever because she was a whiny bitch 😀 I’m kidding. But there might be some truth behind that…

Anyway, Hashire Pengin also sounds like an UG reject song, but at least it’s cute and way catchier than Ue kara mariblah. Oh well.

See you again next time, folks! I’m not preordering the stupid sakura single again because I wanted to kick myself when I bought Sakura no ki  ni narou, so I’m just going to wait and see if I like it. Feels weird not to preorder it immediately after I’ve been doing just that for over a year though 😮 But now I have more money for spending on different things! Yay!

Also, real life is scary and I might get married 😮 what is happening with the world? The end is near.

About why I haven’t updated in ages

Hi everyone. This is really hard for me to put into coherent words, so please bear with me if I get a bit rambly.

First of all, sorry for not updating in so long, my real life has been hectic, and I’ve had to study like crazy for the past month because I have to pass a really difficult exam so I don’t have a lot of free time.

However, that’s not the real reason why I haven’t updated in so long but rather the fact that I’ve been kind of upset with AKB lately :/

You see, I became a fan of AKB because I loved their music. Sure, I know it’s nothing particularly artsy or meaningful or whatever, but it was music that I could relate to, that cheered me up when I felt down and that I genuinely enjoyed listening to. However, things have changed a lot in the past 2 years, and right now AKB is a completely different beast from what it was when I started liking them.


I feel that the management or whoever is in charge of the group (I’m inclined to say Akimoto lol) doesn’t care about the music anymore, and I understand the reasons behind that:

1. The mainstream audience that is following AKB now likes them because a particular brand of bubbly harmless pop songs so they can’t alienate them by making them sing something else

2. CMs and TV shows are big sources of income, so of course the girls will be busy with those things, and the songs used for tie-ins have to be mainstream friendly as well

3. New stages are completely impossible at the time, not only Akimoto has way too much on his plate, but also the girls have a million different jobs to do because of their agency and the AKB related jobs on top of all of that so they have no time to learn 16 songs and dances.

4. To be honest, idols are not supposed to be about the music in the first place.

Even though I understand all of this, I speak from my personal experience with idols, and for me that experience is mainly based on their music. I enjoy the TV shows as much as the next person, but to be honest I barely have any free time, and I’m not going to spend it all keeping up with the TV shows which can be a little bit of a hit-or-miss thing. Also, my japanese isn’t perfect, I can understand about 70% of what’s said in those shows, but sometimes it’s too much of a hassle to strain my ears so much and rack my brain to get what they are saying.

The predictable single schedule doesn’t do anything for me, I hate it. Again, I understand the reasons behind it, and if there’s anyone who loves seasonal songs that’s the japanese for sure, so it obviously makes a lot of sense to have the sakura ballad – summer bubbly song – upbeat election song – cool autumn song and now apparently the janken single with a throwaway A-side. It makes sense, but I hate it.

I miss the times when I was super excited to find out what the next single would be about, when I would look forward to who would be chosen as senbatsu for the next single, what would the outfits look like, the dance etc. Right now it’s more like “Oh, it’s time for the Sakura ballad, I bet they wear a school uniform and have a dance with lame hand moves *snore*”


I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade you know, I really respect the new fans and I understand that there are a lot of ways to enjoy the idols you like, and all of that is valid. But this is a blog, and it’s supposed to be about my opinions, and if they are negative opinions I’m torn, you know? I don’t want to be the party pooper, especially when so many new fans are getting into AKB for what they are now.

I don’t like overly negative fandoms, which is part of what I dislike about my Perfume and Kalafina fandoms to be honest. If I hear someone else complaining about why Perfume isn’t doing something completely groundbreaking and instead doing safe commercial stuff I think I’ll cry. Same with Kalafina, if I hear someone else dissing Hikaru and saying that Keiko should be the only one who sings anything in the group I’m probably going to bang my head against a wall, but it’s hypocritical of me to judge people on their honest opinions and they’re completely entitled to express them.

It’s weird because I find myself thinking “Why can’t they just enjoy Perfume/Kalafina for what they are instead of complaining all the time for things that can’t be changed?” but that’s exactly what I can’t do about AKB right now, and it’s conflicting.


I’ve always tried to keep this blog positive and fun, because when I first started it it was supposed to be for the new fans, and I wasn’t going to turn them down with a lot of negative stuff. I’m really sarcastic, snarky and negative in real life, and I was glad that I had a place where I could just be positive and happy and outgoing even if only for a while xD

But back then I was really excited and happy about everything that AKB did, I wasn’t ever faking anything! I was just so glad that I was following this amazing group of hard working young girls who were not afraid to be themselves and derp around and performed amazingly on stage all the time. My, my how things have changed! I don’t even know if this blog is good enough for new fans because I’m not into SKE and NMB enough so as to include them in my blogging, I don’t watch any TV shows regularly, I don’t even know who the kks are anymore because I have no time to watch their LODs and I basically don’t care about the direction AKB has taken now that they are popular. So what am I supposed to do?

I can’t fool myself anymore. The truth is that the last A-side I was personally fond of was Everyday, Katyusha, and my level of cared has plummeted so much that I haven’t even watched the PV for Ue Kara Mariko, and I honestly don’t care about that. When I heard the song preview I just wanted to laugh and hit myself at the same time, it sounds SO DAMN GENERIC. It sounds exactly like every Under Girls song of this year, and I’m sick of that. So I thought “I’m going to blog about Kaze ga Fuiteiru” but what was I going to say? That even though I loved the title track and the PV and the double center I hated everything else about it? That Gondola Lift was boring, Vamos was the most annoying song ever and the UG song was so generic that I didn’t even bother listeining to it more than once?

I could’ve done that, and it would’ve been honest, but I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, I don’t want to be the downer. AKB has been giving me hope and happiness for so long that I don’t want to let them go even if I pretty much dislike everything about their new concept.


So that’s why I haven’t blogged. Because I didn’t want to rip apart “KazeFui”, because I didn’t want to snore at “Ue Kara Mariko”, I didn’t want to rage at the stupid disgusting “AKBaby” thing. But then I didn’t know what to say, because I don’t want to be fake either, it’s very conflicting.

I had been thinking about giving up the fandom for good, because what’s the point in sticking around for something that frustrates you more than it makes you happy? But then yesterday I decided to watch the Team K “AKB ga Ippai” concert, and when they were singing the old single medley I remembered everything, why I liked them, why I supported them, why their music means so much to me.

I can’t leave the AKB fandom, because by now it has become an extremely important part of my life. I got ready for my first dates with my boyfriend listening to “Koi no Plan” I said goodbye to one of my best friends with “Aozora no soba ni ite”, I fell in love for the first time in my life with “Don’t Disturb”, I felt sad that I couldn’t be a bigger part of his life and listened to “Bird”, I figured out that I wasn’t getting my feelings across with “Iiwake Maybe”, I managed to stand up again and keep moving forward even though I was hopeless with “RIVER”. There’s just so much of me in their music, I can’t let go of that part of my life, and it sounds stupid because it’s just idol music but to me it means something else, and I’m not going to give up on them.

Sure, they don’t need me as a fan, because they have millions of people following them and they are probably richer than me and better at supporting them, but I want to stick by my girls and keep pushing their backs regardless. I guess that there’s still hope for me xD Team KII got a new fantastic stage, NMB are getting great songs for their singles, maybe AKB is next? I don’t promise to update daily or anything like that, but I do promise to be honest, and try to keep it real even if it’s not the most positive opinion in the world. It doesn’t matter that I’m disappointed with their music now if they can still wow me and make great songs that I like, and as long as that happens I think I’ll stick around 🙂


I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY!!!! (aka. OMG I’m getting old D:D:D:)

You know, with everyone in the H!P fan world praising Aibon (after ditching her for her scandals and PBs *shrugs*) because she said that AKB was nowhere as good as H!P is, I had an epiphany!! It was simply triggered in my brain!!!!

EDIT: No need to curse all that much in the blog *seatdrop* See, I got carried away because sadly, IRL I curse like a pirate XD

Here’s how my thought process went: 


2. That’s not really classy of her to say, especially when AKB girls are all super humble, and there are quite a few of MM fans in the group, who openly admit it and gush about their favorite idols! And even the girls who aren’t fans, they always refer to MM as their “big and important senpai” looking up to them and stuff. They’ve NEVER EVER claimed that they were even a competition against H!P in any way…

3. You know what? I don’t give a fuck. H!P could be the best thing in the music world, music and performance wise, I’d still stick with AKB songs because…. I’M TOO OLD FOR H!P!!!

Ok, now before I get flamed like crazy, allow me to explain myself:

I know that there are fans of H!P who are WAY older than me, and of course, fans of AKB who are younger than me too. (I’m 22, BTW) but the truth is that I’m a straight girl, I don’t like watching girls in my daily life, and the only reason why I watch these particular girls is because I like their songs, and I feel like I can relate to them somehow. (and that’s why I watch their idol DVDs too, of course *whistle*)

now, you might ask wtf does this have to do with anything? Well, I used to be a very mentally innocent person when it comes to love, so I adored Berryz songs, and (believe it or not) their lyrics too. It’s just like Ray wrote not so long ago, some people think that music is a trascendental thing, like finding a BGM for your life and everything that happens in it, well, I’m like that exactly.

So, back in the day, whenever my bf didn’t call me for days I always blasted Gocchin’s “Yokohama Shinkirou” in rebound mode or something like that. And of course, the first date was actually me humming “Tanoshii na lalalala Tanoshii na Hora! DEETO wa tanoshii na”

But then…

Well, let’s just leave the details out and say that a few years went by, and I grew up while H!P just became disturbingly younger and younger every time (disturbing for my life BGM purposes I mean XD). And, also, Koharu happened. With her sugar high songs with random instrumentals and derailed smile in her PVS and I went “Uh… not really my thing”

And while this might ruin my net reputation forever (like I have one LOL) I just have to accept the truth, I’d much rather listen to lyrics like “We fell in love like a roller coaster, our skins longing for each other, we dreamt a fleeting dream” than a song about a Bus Guide (really, honestly, I truly did love Berryz so much, but then I sort of… can’t relate to such songs anymore!) So yeah, you’re getting this kinda right, I grew up and then I didn’t care about Amulet Eggs people or something like that it’s like “Omg they’re 9 kthxbai”

So yeah, the next point you’ll say is “AKB has lolis too! And of course, innocent songs as well!!! WTF is wrong with you, you bitch???” and I’ll say: Yeah, but not quite. I don’t like the AKB lolis for the most part, and the vast majority of my favorite AKB members are over 18… and while sometimes I do hum GARASU no I Love you to myself, I’d rather hum “Junai no Crescendo” LOLOL

I also have to point out a funny thing that happened to me that made me realize why I might have given up on H!P, randomly, Abe Natsumi and Yajima Maimi’s duet “16sai no koi nante” started playing and, while paying attention to the lyrics, I could totally relate to EVERYTHING Nacchi was saying, shaking my head at Maimi’s naive lines. So I thought “Damn, I’m elder club fan material… Now it’s really for sure!!!” XD XD XD Ahhh… growing up sucks D:

To sum this up, as it’s always been the case, it IS a matter of liking one thing or the other, but for me, and around the time AKB48 was actually created, I wanted to listen to something a bit more grown up lyrics wise. 

Please keep in mind that not all of us girls want to listen to STRAWBERYY PIE AYAYAYAYAYAYAIIII FOR MAI DAAARIN!!! all the time… *shrugs* And this of course, doesn’t mean that I think AKB lyrics have a mystical and philosophical depth unbeknownst to man kind prior to their existence, because, come on, these girls have sung about ALL of the freaking bones in the human body! It’s just… I like their lyrics more and that’s it. 😛

So if in your mind AKB = slutty

in mine H!P = teen love

They go together sometimes yeah, but that’s a whole other post and for a whole different kind of media that’s not exactly this blog XD

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