Bikkuri Project

So far, I have declared war on fuzzballs, marching band uniforms, and excessive fabric. Today the Costume Hall of Shame congratulates bustles on joining that prestigious list. The bustles’ unforgivable sin can be explained very easily: They make your ass look huge on purpose! Really, there’s not a whole lot more to it, but if you ask any girl, she’ll probably agree that that’s enough to have bustles and those who design them condemned to hell.

Ai-chan “Yeah, this feathery bustle is awesome!”
Reina “Just shut up Ai! We look like huge-assed ostriches, and your strutting is making it worse”
Ai-chan *cries*

But there’s something worse than attaching a bustle to the back of your skirt: attaching a bustle to the back of your shorty-shorts. Let’s look at Yuko Nakazawa demonstrating in some poor quality screen shots (sorry). This might just be one of the least flattering looks that the h!p wardrobe department has come up with. Miss Hotness looks like Miss Chunky, and that’s not okay. That’s mostly the sparkly silver unitard’s fault though. As though the sparkling silver unitard wasn’t adding enough pounds, they have attached a cascade of golden poofy fabric to her rear. It’s like they were trying to make her a pretty formal dress, but they got lazy and stopped halfway through. How much better would this outfit have looked if they had continued the skirt all the way around? As it is now it’s the reverse mullet of costumes: Party in the front and business in the back (and ugly all around).