Bikkuri Project

So far, I have declared war on fuzzballs, marching band uniforms, and excessive fabric. Today the Costume Hall of Shame congratulates bustles on joining that prestigious list. The bustles’ unforgivable sin can be explained very easily: They make your ass look huge on purpose! Really, there’s not a whole lot more to it, but if you ask any girl, she’ll probably agree that that’s enough to have bustles and those who design them condemned to hell.

Ai-chan “Yeah, this feathery bustle is awesome!”
Reina “Just shut up Ai! We look like huge-assed ostriches, and your strutting is making it worse”
Ai-chan *cries*

But there’s something worse than attaching a bustle to the back of your skirt: attaching a bustle to the back of your shorty-shorts. Let’s look at Yuko Nakazawa demonstrating in some poor quality screen shots (sorry). This might just be one of the least flattering looks that the h!p wardrobe department has come up with. Miss Hotness looks like Miss Chunky, and that’s not okay. That’s mostly the sparkly silver unitard’s fault though. As though the sparkling silver unitard wasn’t adding enough pounds, they have attached a cascade of golden poofy fabric to her rear. It’s like they were trying to make her a pretty formal dress, but they got lazy and stopped halfway through. How much better would this outfit have looked if they had continued the skirt all the way around? As it is now it’s the reverse mullet of costumes: Party in the front and business in the back (and ugly all around).

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v1460155RxrEXCte

I know I already updated today, but I found this video, and I just had to share it. It’s of a performance on a TV show from MM’s recent Taiwan visit. It’s a medley of Love Machine, RR21, and The Peace (all the classics). If you ignore the shitty shitty camera-work (why are there shots of someone’s feet and shots that are almost upsidedown?) it’s a great performance. Oh, and there are some previews of everyone that’s going to be on the show at the beginning, but morning musume is the first performance, so just skip to 2:15 or so. Some thoughts.

1st-I think that Risa is the one doing “the face” at the beginning of Love Machine, so that answers that question.
2nd-Really camera people. I’m sure they have nice shoes and all, but how about a shot of the girls who are actually singing?
3rd- Awwww. Panda’s first Love Machine.
4th- LinLin is totally spazzing in the background during koha’s “peace” monolog.She’s so funny!
5th- OMG Aika, stop being so adorable, or you’re going to kill me. I’m seriously becoming obsessed with her lately. Just watch her during the whoa whoa peacepeace parts. First the picture of her with the puppy and now this? <3 <3 <3 Here are my latest Aika observations
-Has she lost weight? I don’t remember her being that tiny.
-They’re pairing her with Koharu a lot lately, aren’t they? It makes sense, since they’re the youngest and essentially alone in their generations, but I’m not sure I like their voices together as much as some other combos.
-Wow, she’s sure grabbing Sayu’s ass for a long time there during the “chou chou chou ii kanji” part of RR

The first part of this entry came out just a smidge crazier-sounding than I intended it to, but just in case you were wondering what really goes on in my head…

If you’ve been reading this blog you probably know that I’ve been having a dilemma about picking my top 10 h!p songs. It’s just too hard to choose! Well, today I’ve made a breakthrough(jibun wo buchiyabure)! Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, “So Celestia”, I thought to myself (actually, I used my real name) “What should you do when you’re faced with a big task and you’re feeling overwhelmed?” “Break it into pieces!” I replied to myself excitedly. After treating myself to a bowl of ice cream as a reward for my good answer, I sat down to write this entry.

What I’m going to do is pick my top songs by artist and then attempt to compile those lists into a definitive top 10 later. For these features I’m going to go with the top 10 for Morning Musume, which I anticipate will be the hardest, top 5 for Berryz, Matsuura Aya, Cute, Minimoni, and the shuffle groups, and the top 1 or 2 songs for artists that either don’t have much material out or that I don’t like many of their songs: Aa!, W, Gomattou, VUDen, Melon Kinenbi, Goto Maki, Athena and Robikerrotsu, and Country Musume. All other artists/groups: I just don’t like any of their songs enough to profile them on these lists.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, my first top 5 list is Matsuura Aya, because I’ve been listening her songs a lot lately.

5.Doki Doki Love Mail- Ayaya’s first single is a good showcase of her considerable vocal talent at a young age. It isn’t overly complex or especially daring, but I find the melody to be quite pleasant on the ears. She looks very young and fresh-faced on the cover and in the PV(which is cutely bizarre in true Ayaya style). In general, I just find this song to be a refreshing break if I’m becoming overwhelmed by super hyper or angry or cutesy songs.

4.Momoiro Kataomoi- Proves that Aya knows how to heap on the cute in spades. The main reason this song made the list isn’t the actual song itself, but the PV. It’s one of my favorite PV’s out of all of Hello Project, and if you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it right now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye0_7ogWawI Love the strange little peach puppets, love the Pippi Longstockings pigtails, love the fact that the PV has a real story to it, love her singing into a peach can instead of a microphone, I even love the overwhelming pinkness of everything. I have to laugh at the part where she yells “Peach” and the towel falls off and then she continues singing anyway. The song? Yeah, it’s fine, but I suspect that it could be a really bad song and I would still love it if it had this PV.

3.LOVE Namida Iro- An Ayaya song that has come to my attention mostly because of someone else singing it. Namely Yossie. Take a look! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTrnAYEAO3E

The part I’m talking about it around 3:05-4:30, though the whole New Years Special is worth watching, in my opinion. Ahaha Yossie. So funny. In all seriousness though, it’s another very nice and well-sung song by Aya, with an especially catchy melody. I like the part at the end of the last chorus where she sings the last “Nai!” really high and clear. I also enjoyed watching the 5^th gen auditionees struggle with that note. =P

2.Zutto suki de ii desuka?- I named this as one of the top 10 songs that get stuck in my head, and that’s a big part of why it’s so high on this list. There are so many dreary h!p ballads out there that a ballad really has to be something special to contend for spots among my favorite songs, and I think that this one is. I like how the melody kind of flows up and down. It’s poignant and powerful, yet gentle enough to avoid seeming overdone, and the key change toward the end is great. We need more key-changes in h!p songs. I might not have taken such notice of the song if I hadn’t watched a live performance of it. That was the first time that Ayaya really blew me away with her singing and expressiveness, especially from the key change to the end.

1.GOOD BYE natsuo- This song is simply kick-ass! That’s not a term I usually use for h!p songs, but I can think of no better term for Good Bye Natsuo. Just look at the “angry” cover picture. Sweet little Ayaya looks seriously pissed, and I like it. It’s kind of unusual to see an angry song from Ayaya, so I really enjoy hearing what her voice can do with a song like this. She’s rolling her R’s (yay Shabondama-like) and hitting all those long held notes perfectly. It’s just great. This song couldn’t be sung, and still sound good, by anyone with lesser vocal ability than Ayaya either. The song is relentless, and it must be incredibly tiring to sing it. As a final bit of praise, I also really love the little bullet ricochet sound effects. Hopefully you know what I’m talking about there. In summary, not typical Matsuura, but too cool not to be my favorite!

For a while now, I’ve been thinking about the “idol” concept. What is an idol really all about anyway? I guess it depends on who you ask.

There’s the casual fan who just happened to like a song or two or maybe the guy who bought a photobook because the girl on the cover was hot. To them, an idol is simply a pretty girl working for a company whose job is to have her picture taken, dance, sing, and entertain the public. Their view is perfectly valid and true, but the roll of simple entertainer applies to any actor, model, or singer anywhere, so what makes idols different?

At the next level you have the people who view their idols as somewhat of a modern-day geisha, a living work of art. They are lovely both to look at and listen to, so these fans collect their pictures, music and videos. They see their idols as some kind of far-off perfect ideal of a woman.

Then you have the true fans. We view the idols as our friends, sisters, and especially, our daughters. We genuinely care about these girls. We are disappointed when they mess-up, and we’re proud when they succeed. We’re happy when they laugh and sad when they cry. We usually know that they’re not perfect, but we love them all the more for it. We might not know much about their personal life, but a girl can only be unscripted on camera for so long doing everything from attempting improvised humor to crying at a graduation to goofing off back-stage to just shopping at the supermarket and cooking dinner, before you begin to feel that you really do know something of her real personality. What you really have is an actual emotionally fulfilling relationship with someone you probably have never met, and probably never will meet. It’s kind of an extraordinary thing, I think.

It’s been said that fans are fickle, because as soon as a girl leaves her group or steps out of the lime-light, she begins to lose fans by the truckload. I tend to disagree. When a girl steps out of the spotlight she’s effectively stopping or at least sharply reducing communication with you and thereby ending the relationship as it was. It’s like your best friend from high school. You tearfully promised at graduation that you would be friends forever, but as the years and physical distance between you took their toll, you just don’t talk much anymore. You’re happy when you hear from them, and you really hope they’re doing well, but the relationship can’t be what it was before because you just don’t see them that much. Still, even when you come to make new friends (or become interested in new idols) you will always have fond memories of that person, and they will always hold a special place in your heart.

http://www.dohhhup.com/movie/W4isxf8V2Dn1znHyjYZLI7r4YTbSn9xX/view.php

Ack. I promise the next entry will be a positive one, but I just can’t let this pass without comment. The PV for Berryz new single, “Tsukiatteru no ni kataomoi” has been released(link is above), and I hate to say it, but Berryz has officially been shafted in favor of Cute.

The main problem with the PV is that it doesn’t match the song at all. I know Berryz has been doing more slow/serious songs lately, but this isn’t one of them, so what’s with the somber formal traditional japanese setting? It looks like it might have been a good setup for a ballad, but not an upbeat song like this! Then there are the costumes, which are in a different direction all together. They’re pretty, but they don’t go with the peppy song or the traditional Japanese set.

The dance is just awful. I have now seen enough knee-flapping (which reminds me of chickens) to last me a lifetime. At least the dance is peppy to match the song, I guess.

If you look at the aesthetics of the PV it gets even more confusing. During the chorus there’s an annoying strobe light/camera flash effect that should come with a “WARNING: May induce seizures” label. The floaty white fabric continues the theme of “doesn’t match the song at all”, and is actually a bit creepy, especially the part where some floats down from the heavens and drapes itself on Risako. It’s like attack of the fabric part 2! At the end, the creepiness is pumped up a notch, when the magical fabric flies the girls to the moon (i’m not making this up). With the fabric floating behind them and their white dresses they bear more than a passing resemblance to ghosts. Actually, if I muted the PV and cut out the dance scenes I would probably think it’s about some kind of female ghosts haunting an ancient temple and mourning their lost love.

I’ll end with the positives. I think that everyone gets at least one solo line, Risako looks especially mature and lovely, the set’s nice (but not for this song), the song has some catchy hooks, and I love Momoko’s solo lines. I always love her voice, but in an anime-sounding song, her anime-sounding voice works especially well.

Sorry Berryz. It’s clear who Tsunku and UFA’s current favorite h!p kids group is, and it’s not you.

The costume Hall of Shame theme for today (if you didn’t read the title is…)

When Fabric Attacks!!!

Yes, fabric attacks have been on the rise in Hello Project. It starts with the idea “hey! We can have them wear one costume over another skimpier costume, and then they can change really quickly mid-show!” It’s a good idea in theory, but sometimes the costume designers seem to get so excited about the sexy 2^nd costume that they forget that the idol is going to have to appear onstage in the first one. They start whipping around the layers of fabric, and soon the singer is more cocooned and bloated-looking than a silk worm. Let’s look at Goto Maki, who I’m beginning to suspect decided to leave h!p solely because of the wardrobe choices in her latest concert tour.

I realize that she’s going for a “period” look, but good lord. There’s more fabric on her right now than I have on my entire bed (and my bedroom is really cold!). The impression I’m getting is less “regal French courtesan” and more “regal French jellyfish”.

Oh come on! Were they even trying to make this look like an outfit and not a large blanket that’s been awkwardly bunched up and pinned onto Maki? Wait. I see what really happened here. Granny Goto has seen the shockingly indecent clothes her granddaughter has been wearing in photos lately, and so she set out to crochet the largest and bulkiest shroud she could in order to protect Maki’s modesty. I can say with confidence that her modesty is well protected here. Pull the hood down a bit, and that could be Tsunku under there and you wouldn’t know the difference!

Well, that’s all for this time. Sorry I’ve been picking on Maki so much, but I really think that these outfits deserve it. Now that you’ve seen what excess fabric can do if unchecked, please remember that if you see any fabric behaving suspiciously, do not panic! Contact the proper authorities and…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Watch out Ai-chan!!! There’s something climbing up your shoulder and I think it’s heading for your face!!!!

I love love LOVE the Mikan single covers!!! Now that bigger photos are out, I can appreciate how awesome they are. It’s like we just stumbled into a big Morning Musume party, and how lucky we are! The general feel of these covers is one of celebration. Celebrating both this single, and I think, Morning Musume in general. I also appreciate the use of a set and props instead of just a photo-shopped conglomeration of the girls posing in some kind of outfit. It makes these a lot more interesting to look at. From top to bottom the pics are regular, limited B, and limited A.

My favorite is the limited-B because I think every single one of them actually looks really good here (which is hard to do with a photo of 9 people at once). I especially love LinLin’s pose (even though she kinda looks like a bumble bee), and Koharu is looking great too.

Next I’d pick the regular edition, mostly for Mittsi’s super cheesy grin in her photo. JunJun is the winner of this cover though. She looks lovely.

The limited-A is my last choice. I really like how everyone looks except for Koha. I think she’s kind of fake-smiling/not really smiling, and since she’s front and center it really detracts from the photo to me. Risa’s hair is very pretty like that, but Reina wins in this cover. Somehow she reminds me of a girl who’s rocking out in her room singing into her hairbrush, and it’s really cute.

Looking forward to the PV even more now. I wonder if it will reflect the covers or be something else all together?

It’s the Morning Musume Moment Awards! Today a distinguished panel of judges (me) will be picking the ________est Morning Musume Moments. Links are included where appropriate.

Cutest Morning Musume Moment

Tanaka Reina with some kittens http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv9OdyeSNXY

All together, ready? Awwwwwww!In a cuteness competition, kittens are a trump card. The fact that this clip contains not only kittens, but also Reina, makes it the automatic winner of this one.

Angriest Morning Musume Moment

Fujimoto Miki’s Resignation

I’ve never liked Mikitty that much. I always regarded her as kind of a necessary evil due to her excellent singing voice, but her “I don’t give a shit about any of this” attitude has always pissed me off. She got caught with her boyfriend. All right. That was careless of her, but the pictures were blurry, and the agency was willing to cover for her. What does Miki do? She goes ahead and announces, “Yep, it’s me. I’m not sorry and I’m not being in Morning Musume anymore.” So she wanted to leave Morning Musume. Fine. I have no problem with that, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about leaving Morning Musume, and she chose the absolute wrongest way she could have. Did she even think about how this would affect Ai-chan (being forced into a position she wasn’t ready for), the rest of her group (losing one of their main singers and having to deal with a scandal), her agency (looks like they have no control over their artists and yet another scandal), her fans (felt betrayed), or anybody else who had to apologize for her because she wouldn’t? NO!!! All she thought about was herself and what she wanted. Conclusion: Miki Fujimoto is a selfish bitch. *is glad to get that ranting out of the way*

Funniest Morning Musume Moment

Niigaki Risa and the two buildings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnuqYsfuGBk

Let me start off by saying that this one was HARD to pick. There are just so many to choose from. Runner up is Kago Ai’s many desperate and panic stricken attempts to come up with a four kanji idiom under threat of inflating balloon, ultimately resulting in her spitting out her own name (can’t find a link. If you have one, i’d appreciate it). I picked this moment, though, because it’s just so unintentionally hilarious. Risa’s just blissfully babbling on about her buildings, and she doesn’t seem to understand why everyone thinks it’s so funny. Even Mikitty is in tears at how funny it is. She just keeps going and going. Start at the good building and then go to the second building for octopus and then back to the good building for shoping and then back to the second building for a movie and then to the amusement park between the two buildings to ride the bullet ferris wheel….Oh Risa…I heart you.

Most Surprising Morning Musume Moment

The announcement of the new Chinese members

I’ve written a bit about this before, butthat really is the time that h!p has thrown me for the biggest loop. I come back from vacation and load up a page and “WHAT??? New mm members? But they weren’t even having auditions! WHAT?? They’re Chinese!”. Something like that. I was never opposed to the idea of Chinese members, just slightly wary and very very surprised. I’ve come to love JunLin, so it all turned out for the best, but man H!P, if you’re going to add new Morning Musume members, at least give us some warning next time, k?

Saddest Morning Musume Moment

5^th gen’s Suki na Sempai performance at Konkon and Makoto’s Graduation Concert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5wWfL2gBM4
My favorite (and most tear prone) generation singing their song together for the last time, with not one, but two of their own leaving them forever, and they’re just sobbing the whole time, and it always gets to me when girls are crying and singing, but you know that these four share a really special bond so it’s even sadder, and they seem like they can barely get through it without totally breaking down,and they sound terrible, but they’re still trying to smile through their tears, and…and…and… waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Happiest Morning Musume Moment

The entire “Ai araba it’s all right” PV http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfh8Xyowy0E

When I’m in a bad mood, I watch this PV and it cheers me up every time without fail. MM is at its cutest and most cheerful in this PV. All my favorite members are there and looking radiant with happiness, and they’re all telling me “Hey! It’s all right!” How could I not believe them?

A real emotional roller coaster, right? Aren’t you glad I ended on ‘happy’? Hopefully you’ll all be left in a good mood now.

Bikkuri Project: Spreading Happiness Throughout the Internet, one Wota at a Time

There comes a time in every h!p bloggers life when he or she must reveal their list of favorite members. There also comes a time when they must reveal their list of favorite songs, but I’m just not quite there yet. I’m working on it though, I promise! I do think I’m finally prepared to share my favorite members with you though. Since I’ve already done write ups on all of the current Morning Musume members, where they appear on this list, I’m just going to add links to that entry. Their rank has changed since I did those write-ups, so if your favorite has moved down, please think of it as me coming to like someone else more rather than coming to like that girl less, because that’s really what it is. And yes, most of these are from MM or past MM, but I’m not going to lie about who I like for the sake of being diverse.Okay. Drumroll please! Bdddddddddddddddddddd(this is a drumroll if you can’t tell)dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

10. Mitsui Aika- Aika has actually climbed a bit on the list due largely to her adorable performance in the Shouri no Big Wave PV and the fact that she seems to radiate pure sunshine wherever she goes. http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/1981.html#cutid1

9.Tsunaga Momoko- She was the first Berryz Kobou member that I noticed. She kind of fascinated me then, and she kind of still does. She’s just so weird but also cute. It’s very confusing. It’s hard to believe that that’s her real voice, but I guess it’d be pretty difficult to fake it for so long. I have a theory that Momoko is actually an anime character who dreamed of being a pop-star, but she had to cross dimensions to make her dream come true for some reason, so her adorable magical pet thing that she disguises as a stuffed animal helped her, and she also moonlights as a sailor uniform-wearing moster-fighter while hiding her real identity from her group-mates and persuing her mysterious crush despite the angst caused by the fact that she can’t ever tell him who she really is. *pauses for a breath* Where was I? Oh yeah. I was expecting her to be terrible at singing when I first heard her talk, but was surprised to find that she is not. Her voice is very high and cute, but she can still carry a tune. She’s a good dancer too. Mostly I like Momoko because she very interesting whereas I find a lot of the other h!p kids to be kind of bland. When Berryz is performing, she’s the one my eyes are drawn to.

8.Takahashi Ai- Would have a higher place on this list if she hadn’t cut her hair. http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/2953.html#cutid1

7. Suzuki Airi- The star of Cute! I fell in love with Airi after watching a performance by Aa! (aka: the group that might have done more stuff if they didn’t have such a stupid name, personal opinion). First of all, she looked amazing, just like a little doll up there in her cute little suspenders and tie. She seemed so tiny, but she was the star of that group with her vocals. I love Reina a lot, but Airi’s falsetto sections made First Kiss. Now Airi is the lead singer of Cute, which happens to be my second favorite H!P group after Morning Musume. Do I wish the other girls got more lines? Sure, for their sakes, but as far as my listening pleasure is concerned, the more Airi the better. She’s also super cute in Buono. As Cute’s sales continue to increase, I think that Airi will end up becoming one of the most popular Hello!Project members eventually.

6.LinLin- She’s climbed in the ranks for being so darn freaking adorable and funny in every video clip I’ve seen of her. What she may lack in language ability she makes up for in facial expressions. Also, evidence continues to mount that she has a lot of singing/dancing/general performing talent. http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/2339.html#cutid1

5.Konno Asami- Konkon is the single sweetest thing to come out of Hello Project. I love her big puppy dog eyes, her chubby cheeks, her cute little pout, and all her general mannerisms. She usually seemed so calm, yet somehow managed to either be super funny or super cute, or both all of the time. I always looked forward to the moments when she was on TV. I also like that she is smart, and is choosing to get an education rather than just riding on her MM fame for the rest of her life. KonKon is also the classic example of what MM is all about: taking an ordinary girl and turning her into something extraordinary. Yeah, she was never the strongest singer in the group, but she worked with what she had, and she won the hearts of almost everyone (myself included) in the process. It’s great to see her back in Gatas, even though she’ll never have as prominent a roll as she once did, I think h!p needs a little KonKon to keep it sane and grounded once in a while.

4. Tanaka Reina- Nothing’s really changed about my opinion on Reina since I wrote this: http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/3789.html#cutid1 except that her photobook did come out, and it did not disappoint.

3.Yaguchi Mari- Mari holds the distinction of being the very first girl in Morning Musume that I noticed and fell in love with. She’s just so tiny!!! Also, I think she is very pretty in a spritely sort of way, she actually looks really good with short blonde hair (unlike some girls *cough*eriandrika*cough* and she has lovely eyes. I love her voice, and her energetic dancing always stands out (see Souda! We’re alive if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Her major “skill” though, is her personality, she’s vibrant, spirited, and could be downright rude to people who pissed her off (which is something that MM is sorely lacking right now). She is another girl who always entertains when she is on camera. She made minimoni the great thing that it was, she provided harmonies for a lot of MM’s songs, and she once announced to the world that she wanted to run around naked on a deserted island, but I think the most amazing thing she has done is have a successful career outside of Hello Project with her various TV jobs. I’m really glad Mari is still around in the h!p world (to some extent) and also using her sparkling personality for other work. If it weren’t for the unfortunate circumstances of her leaving MM she may well be at the top of my list. I still feel a painful twinge when I think about her graduation that never was. I would have really liked to see that. I don’t really forgive easily (note the lack of Tsuji or Kago on this list), but if h!p has forgiven Mari enough to allow her to sing at concerts again, the least I can do is forgive her enough to give her the number 3 spot on this list.

2.Yoshizawa Hitomi- The main reason that I love Yossie is that she’s just so damn funny. All future MM behind the scenes footage is going to be soooo much less interesting without her around. From her silly faces to her hilarious “Ayaka’s surprise English Lessons” to her great Ayaya impressions, Yossie never failed to entertain. I really admire her for other reasons as well. She (much like Ai-chan) had the leadership of Morning Musume suddenly and unexpectedly thrust upon her, and she proceeded to gracefully guide them through the toughest time in the group’s history. If you watch her graduation footage, you can tell just how much the other members all loved Yossie. I believe that she was the glue that held the group together and kept them optimistic for a long time. She seems to be really dedicated to her work as well. She requested to not take a break even after the death of her brother, and again, wanted to resume work as soon as possible after her graduation. I also like that she spoke out and criticized Tsuji when her scandal broke lose, saying something about how disrespectful to her fans that was. It’s good that Yossie actually cares how the fans feel and doesn’t just view them as her means of earning a living. Finally, Yossie is always a girl who looks like she’s having the time of her life whenever she is on stage, and her “sou sa minna san, it’s all right!” is one of my favorite song moments ever. You know that if the performers are having a great time, the audience will be too, which is what makes her such a great performer.

1.Niigaki Risa- Still my favorite <3. I wrote my post about her on her birthday, so you can just ignore the birthday stuff if you read it. http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/6347.html#cutid1.