Bikkuri Project

I have listed my very favorite Hello Project songs, so now what’s left for me to do but list my very least favorite? Look forward to seeing my most mediocre h!p songs in the next post! Just kidding on that one (maybe). Did you know that ‘mediocre’ is a rather difficult word to spell? Thank God for spell checkers. Anyway, there are quite a few h!p songs that are bad by virtue of being boring, but I listen to those songs once and then forget about them. The songs on this list are the ones that are either performed often enough that I can’t ignore them or so very bad that I cannot forget about them. Oh, and don’t freak out because I hate your favorite song, okay?

10. Dschingis Khan, Berryz- I haven’t seen the PV yet, so I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt and putting it at the least worst spot on this list. The song just really makes me cry for the Berryz. Some stupid old European song about a bloodthirsty warlord sung in a range that is far too high for them? It’s a mean joke being played on Berryz Koubou, that’s what it is, and I won’t stand for it!

9.Yeah! Meccha Holiday, Matsuura Aya- It goes on far too long with the “Yeah! Meccha..” lines and every time I hear that line, I’m less enthusiastic about it. It goes like this “Yeah!” “Yeah.” “Meh.” “Okay, knock it off already!” Maybe it’s not really Ayaya’s fault though. It might be all of the bad renditions of this song that have been done by other h!p members.

8.Aoi Sportscar no Otoko, Aoiro 7- I enjoy the “dame dame” part because it was used for the Hello Morning karaoke segments, and I loved those. I don’t like the song though because it’s rather tuneless. The chorus doesn’t even really have a melody. I don’t know how, or why, you would have a chorus without a discernable melody.

7.Dance and Chance, Coconuts Musume- What annoys me here is not the sound of the song, but that it’s full of really really lame English. Lyrics like that would get laughed at in America, and it makes me sad that some poor Japanese people might have been tricked into thinking they were cool. I blame Coconuts Musume as they knew full well how bad those lyrics were and yet they did nothing to stop this.

6. Hyoukkori Hyoutanjima, Morning Musume- Mari’s speech at the beginning of this single is engrish that I can get behind. Unfortunately, my appreciation for the song ends there. I don’t know why Morning Musume suddenly felt the need to release a song aimed at pre-schoolers, but I hope that they never do it again. I don’t even like facial hair on men.

5. Acchi Chikyuu wo Samasunda, Economi- Taking two of the very worst singers in h!p and having them “sing” a song together. Didn’t really think that through, did you Tsunku? “Sing” is in quotes because there’s not much actual singing, is there? Mostly it’s just talking. If I wanted to listen to a recording of people talking, I’d buy a book on tape.

4. Gag 100kaiban Aishitekudasai, Berryz- Don’t laugh, but I feel like this song is mocking me, I really do. The whole “sukinanda” part is done is this cutesy sing-songy voice that makes me feel like they’re repeating something I just said in a super-mocking way. “shuki nyaaan da shuki nyaaan da…” I wish I could gag them every time they go into that part. Hahahaha. I suddenly feel a bit better about the song.

3. Namida Tomaranai Houkago, Morning Musume- If you can stay awake long enough to notice, there are many things wrong with this song beyond how very very boring it is. Three of the four leads are KonKon (bless her heart), Sayu, and Rika (add Koharu, and you’ve got the 4 worse singers MM has ever seen). Worse, almost no one else sings at all, and several of the girls are wearing horrible shiny leisure suits for no apparent reason. Finally, the song is so utterly saccharine that it makes me feel a bit ill. KonKon singing, “My tears won’t stop… because I’m just too happy!” Bleeeeech.

2. Happy, Koharu- The short explanation is that listening to this song causes me to become violent. For the longer explanation: http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/17998.html#cutid2

1.Konnichi Pa, Kirari Kusumi- If worse songs than this exist in the world, I no longer want to be a part of it. Check the link above for further explanation.

Amen,

~Celestia~