Bikkuri Project

I don’t know if this is a natural consequence of getting older or blogging for so long, but the more I do this, the less I start to care if I offend someone. I could probably work it into a mathematical formula (number of shits given is inversely proportional to number of years blogging). Anyway, I’m here today to point out two types of idol fans who bug the crap out of me. Let’s call them the “Idol Devout” and the “Idol Atheists”.

The idol devout will always believe every official statement from the management or scripted comment from a girl, no matter what. They can be heard crying out “Kanna really did leave C-ute because of excessive bunions! She would never abandon her group like that!!” Presumably she recovered in time for her return to the industry as a racy grauve model though, right? Also, these people honestly believe that no member’s graduation has EVER been anything but 100% her own decision, made with her personal happiness in mind. So even when Tsunku comments after Koharu’s graduation announcement, “As for Kusumi, she was puzzled at first, but she accepted it firmly”. These people still insist that Koharu chose to leave on her own to become a model. She even later said that she had “Discussed with Tsunku and various people!” She left to pursue her dreams! Let’s imagine how that “discussion” went, shall we?

Tsunku: “Koharu, we’ve decided to have you graduate”

Koharu: “What the fuck?? What am I going to do now?”

Tsunku: “I dunno. Maybe you could model or something?”

Koharu: *while sobbing* “I..I.. guess so”

Viola. They discussed. Koharu accepted. The idol devout will fly in the face of all logic in order to preserve their happy fluffy ideal of idol life, and nothing will deter them.

On the other hand, we have Idol Atheists.

These people will NEVER EVER believe anything the management says. Every graduation or resignation is actually the result of a secret sex scandal, a nasty dispute over salary, or group infighting. All the members of every group secretly despise each other and are completely miserable. They just have to put on a happy face because Tsunku beats them if they don’t.  The idol world is more cut-throat and ruthless than the Hunger Games.

My problem with both of these groups is that they have a knee jerk reaction to every event that fails to take logic or considering the facts into account. I guess I’m more of an idol agnostic. I believe that I can’t ever really know what goes on behind closed doors in the idol world, but I try to look at the information I have and make my best guess. Where would you place yourself on the idol faith continuum?

~Celestia~

You know who else I don’t like? Terrible singers or groups of singers who post videos of their voices dubbed over idol performances on youtube. If you’re decent, then okay, but if you are an awful singer, nobody wants to hear that.

I’m not one for pic. spam, but GUH! (was the sound of my eyes popping out like a cartoon) Is anyone prettier than Sayumi? Like, ever in the history of the world?? There’s a lot of pretty girls out there, but Sayu… she’s something special. She’s also, apparently, a killer bunny dominatrix. Probably should have suspected that all along.

Sayu by Day….

Sayu by Night

This photo book looks to be a lot more creative than most!

~Celestia~

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????

Well, S/mileage is officially f*cked.

Seriously. She’s BY FAR their most popular member, and the “new members” aren’t even close to being able to replace her. Combined, they might equal a Saki, but they’ll never equal a Yuuka. She was almost a perfect idol. Sad for Dawa and Kanon. The group had so much promise, and now it’s all falling apart.

My guess, and I’m sure others will agree, she wasn’t as happy with all the recent changes in S/mileage as they all have to pretend to be.

~Celestia~

I thought about this before, but as more and more time goes by, the more I’m starting to suspect the answer might be no. Let’s look at the evidence for and against an Aika comeback.

FOR A COMEBACK

-She showed up and sang in the encore at Ai-chan’s graduation concert, so she’s definitely not out of h!p yet

-She’s in the new Mobekimasu PV (very briefly), and she was in the last single’s PVs too (however, all of these were filmed a while ago) But at least it seems like they’re making an effort to show that she still exists, unlike when Kana went on “hiatus” from C-ute and she didn’t appear in their next single, sitting or no

AGAINST A COMEBACK

-She stopped updating her blog at the end of June. Pretty sure you can update a blog from a sitting position

-Historical precedent. Arihara Kana from h!p, Matsushita Yui from SKE, and Saeki Mika from AKB are all examples of idols who suffered medical issues or injuries, disappeared for a long time but showed up once in a while in special appearances (not Kana), and then eventually announced their graduations because their treatment was taking a lot longer than expected. That brings us to…

-Aika was supposed to be back and fully recovered by September 23rd, after 8 weeks of rest. Cut to September 30th, a week later, and Aika appears at Ai-chan’s graduation in a wheel chair. Clearly, she is nowhere near healed enough to dance if she can’t even walk yet. I believe that originally, they fully intended to bring Aika back (the early evidence points to this. Inclusion in PVs and the concert intro and goods, etc.), but her recovery doesn’t seem to be going well, and who knows how much longer it will take or even if she will ever be able to dance again without risk of re-injuring herself.

-And let’s not forget, she’s not exactly an “essential” member popularity or vocals-wise. Remember when Ai-chan hurt her ankle and she still sang at Yossie’s graduation concert (sitting down)? They tried that with Aika at first (the fan club tour) but then they stopped (MM’s recent tour).

-This ->

“Introducing New 11 Member Morning Musume!” , says the headline. 11. “New” Morning Musume has 11 members, not 12.  Would it have been so hard to get Aika on this cover? I know she already has one of those costumes (unless they gave it to one of the 10th gen girls). She wouldn’t have to dance. It might not mean anything, but it sort of looks like they’ve stopped trying to include her in things, even when she can participate.

I’m not totally convinced either way, but at this point, I can safely say that come the h!p Winter Concerts neither a full comeback nor a tearful announcement followed by a nice little graduation ceremony at the last show would surprise me.

~Celestia~

PS. Looking at that picture, it really hits me how very different current MM looks from the group who’s concerts I attended back when I was in Japan

Like the post title says, I know everyone is already done with this topic, but I felt like it’s significant enough that I need to comment.

So the results come in, and all four S/mileage sub-members have been promoted. Everybody pretty much saw this coming, but questions remain. Did management ever seriously consider kicking any of them out, or was it all a publicity stunt? And most importantly, was it the right choice?

I tried to keep an open mind at first. I was even optimistic. And after careful consideration/ watching the S/mileage live-streaming concert…

I think they made a mistake.

Somehow, it feels like a desperate attempt to stuff as many warm bodies in to the group as possible in hopes that someone would fill the hole left by Saki. The auditions were, as admitted by management (Tsunku I think) “rushed”. There was no application round, little time between the announcement and the actual audition, and only girls who were able to be in Tokyo on the appointed day and showed up were able to audition. The result? A much smaller field of girls to choose from. You can disagree if you’d like, but comparing the S/mileage audition finalists to the Morning Musume audition finalists, I believe that the overall “idol” quality was much lower in the S/mileage pool.  Sure there was Karin, but she is apparently needed elsewhere (TBA). Miyazaki Yuuka was cute, but too old and too tall. Yamaga was a good singer, but just not pretty enough to be an idol (sorry, but she wasn’t). Oda Sakura was too shy, a terrible dancer, and again, not pretty enough. Jang had zero energy and couldn’t remember the song to save her life.

Keep in mind, S/mileage is quite a high quality idol group. They were chosen as the best of the Eggs at a time when there were tons of Eggs running around. All three remaining girls are very pretty, good dancers, and two of them are good singers as well. I’ve come to expect a certain quality from S/mileage, and I believe that at the very least, Nakanishi Kana and Katsuta Rina aren’t up to par.

First, Kana. Didn’t stand out at the audition, and even now I’m not sure why she was picked other than that she had a nice smile and seems like a hard worker. Her singing, and especially her dancing just aren’t nearly good enough. Period. She’s going to drag the group down. This isn’t Morning Musume which, to a certain extent, celebrates having different types of girls. It’s S/mileage. They all got the same hair cut for goodness sake.  And did you ever notice how the S/mileage girls’ costumes are usually very very similar or exactly the same? (the other h!p groups almost always have variety from girl to girl). They’re supposed to kind of “match” when they’re performing.  And Kana does not match.

Next, Rina. Is she talented enough? Sure. She’s probably the most consistent singer of the new members. There’s two problems. 1. Her looks. I don’t think she’s “ugly” as some have said. She’s even cute in some photos, but she’s no where near the three original S/mileage members. And looks are so very important in the idol world. 2. The much bigger problem, in my mind, her personality. Or lack there off. She seems kind of sweet… but that’s about it. S/mileage is known for their energetic, playful personalities. Rina bores me.

I still have hope that Meimi and Akari could become worthy S/mileage members, and really, I think they should have been the only two picked in the end. Both are good dancers, and both are pretty cute (though still probably not as cute as the original S/mileage members). Meimi definitely has a perfect S/mileage personality, and while her vocals are squeaky, that fits in with the group’s style, and she does have a strong voice. Akari also has pretty good vocals, and at least she has an idol persona to distinguish herself (Sporty Spice Girl).

So yeah, the girls would be heart broken, but if they were truly looking to create the strongest overall S/mileage, I think they should have cut Kana and Rina (or never let them in in the first place). It looks like their plan is to use Yuuka’s recent popularity surge (her mixi numbers are climbing like crazy!) to carry the group despite some weak members, and it’ll probably work, but it makes me sad to think of the S/mileage that could have been. All I know is that I like S/mileage a lot less with the new members than I did without them, and it’s not because I hate the idea of adding new girls. It’s because I care about S/mileage and they deserved better than getting stuck with the results of this hasty audition.

~Celestia~

The new “Mobekimasu” PV has come out. I can summarize my thoughts pretty easily.

Song: =)

PV: =(

I really think the song is very nice. It was probably a good move giving it a very different feel from “All for 1 and 1 for All”. I especially like the “ready?” lines. The PV however… sigh. It’s just boring unfortunately. You think they could have put in some effort to make this one a little special.

But what really upsets me about this release is the fresh surge of “Riho-hate” it has caused. That combined with the whining and obnoxious crys of “IT’S NOT FAIR!!”. Well no shit, it’s not fair. When and how did you ever get it in your head that the idol world was fair? Or even that it should be fair?

The two primary arguments are this “Everyone should get an equal amount of focus” and “The most senior members, or group leaders, should get the most focus (and therefore, Riho should be in the back)”. So let’s look at this from a business standpoint.

1. “Everyone should get an equal amount of focus”. How many girls were in that PV? 28 or so? If everyone gets an equal amount of focus, NO ONE gets much focus. Which groups in h!p have the most equal line distribution? S/mileage (when they had 4 members) and C-ute (NOTICE: The line distribution only became closer to even after they lost a couple members). When you have a small group, you can afford to focus on each girl more without taking away from your most marketable members. Not possible if you’ve got 28 girls. The purpose of this Mobekimasu song, as I see it, is to draw some new attention and new fans to h!p. They’re getting to perform it on some shows that h!p rarely appears on lately, and it will likely be viewed by many people who are unfamiliar with h!p. It’s important that they highlight their most marketable members, because they’re the ones most likely to draw in new interest. The girls who are, to put it nicely, less conventionally attractive, charismatic, or talented (though they have their own good points blahblahblah) CANNOT be allowed to take valuable camera time away from the money makers. It’s not “everyone is equally special and valuable let’s all hug” time. It’s a business, and in the idol business, some girls are just more special and valuable than others. You’re kidding yourself if you honestly think otherwise.

2. “The most senior members (or group leaders) should get the most focus”. Wrong for a couple simple reasons. First, the most senior members may not be the most popular/most likely to draw in new fans (see above). Remember, if they decide to push a girl, it’s not a random decision. They have a reason, and they have plenty of experience picking out which girls could be the most popular. Secondly, the older a girl, the less time she likely has left in the idol world. What happens when Risa and Maimi and Saki S. graduate (it will happen eventually), we’re just left with the younger girls, and everyone says “Who?”. For the long-term health of the company, it’s important for h!p to promote their future stars as well (Yuuka, and especially Riho).

I’ve talked about this before, and I know I’ve ruffled some feathers, but I hope I explained it a little more clearly this time. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be happy if Gaki or Chisa had gotten a solo line, but I know why they didn’t, and I’m not going to rage about it.

~Celestia~

PS: Not entirely on topic, but I want to get this off my chest. Many of us (myself included) have grown up in a generation that’s been taught that the world should be fair and “everyone is equally wonderful”. That you should feel proud of yourself and have high self-esteem for merely existing. I believe that mentality has created an entire generation of lazy, entitled, and arrogant kids and young adults. The fact is, in the real world you don’t always get what you deserve, and you don’t always deserve what you get. (though your odds improve with hard work and natural talent)  Point being, people transfer that sense of entitlement over to their favorite idols as well. Japan doesn’t seem to have a problem separating people into winners and losers (no crappy, everybody gets a participation trophy!, we’re all winners!, “competitions” there), and so they have less problem with their idols being separated into winners and losers similarly. Just look at the annual AKB “elections” if you don’t believe me.

Hey guys. I made some new AKB themed “Name That Song” videos, and I needed somewhere to post the answers. Rest assured, I am still primarily a h!p fan, but my youtube channel dabbles in both fandoms.

So, apologies that this isn’t related to h!p. I promise that the next blog post will be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Team A Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b50L5GB3wGI

Highlight Below for Answers

1. Zutto Zutto

2. Haru ga Kuru made

3. Kurumi to Dialogue

4. Dakedo…

5. Party ga Hajimaru yo

6. Switch

7. Senaka kara Dakishimete

8. Tanjoubi no Yoru

9. Anata to Christmas Eve

10. Love Chase

11. Hoshi no Mukougawa

12. Rider

13. JK Nemurihime

14. Namida no Shounan

Team K Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAW6y26oLpE

Highlight Below for Answers

1. Shamu Neko

2. Sentakumonotachi

3. Blue Rose

4. Theater Pirates

5. Wagamama na Nagareboshi

6. Boku ni Dekiru Koto

7. Seifuku Resistance

8. Erai Hito ni Naritakunai

9. Cinderella wa Damasarenai

10. Hoshizora no Mistake

11. Return Match

12. Umi wo Watare!

13. Yakusoku yo

14. Maria

Team B Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0tDLeCycrs&feature=related

Highlight Below for Answers

1. Love Jump

2. B Stars

3. Junjou Shugi

4. Shiokaze no Shoutaijo

5. Tengoku Yarou

6. Ai no Stripper

7. Tenshi no Shippo

8. Inochi no Tsukaimichi

9. Renai Circus

10. Candy

11. Kobushi no Seigi

12. Hastukoi yo Konnichiwa

13. Haru ga Ichiban Fuku Goro

14. Hissatsu Teleport

Listening to Ai-chan’s graduation concert made me realize a couple things.

1. When did Riho learn to sing like that?? It’s like she found a flaw (okay, but not outstanding vocals) and corrected it in a matter of months by sheer force of will. You’ve got to admit, this girl is very serious about reaching the top of the Morning Musume pyramid as soon as possible (and it looks like she’s only got Reina in her way at this point, though some of these 10th gens may be trouble)

2. Dear God. Does “Tomo” contain more “na”s than Aruiteru?? Try more than double.

Aruiteru-104 “na”s (not counting 22 “la”s)

Tomo- 256 “na”s  256!! That’s got to be a world record number of “na”s. It’s like “The Song That Doesn’t End” except every word is “na”

~Celestia~