Bikkuri Project

So I’m joining the crowd and posting my results from the Hello!Blog poll. No need to read this, I just thought the images were pretty. It seems my tastes have changed somewhat since I first posted my preferences. Interesting how that happens.

Baaaa,

~Celestia~

I have listed my very favorite Hello Project songs, so now what’s left for me to do but list my very least favorite? Look forward to seeing my most mediocre h!p songs in the next post! Just kidding on that one (maybe). Did you know that ‘mediocre’ is a rather difficult word to spell? Thank God for spell checkers. Anyway, there are quite a few h!p songs that are bad by virtue of being boring, but I listen to those songs once and then forget about them. The songs on this list are the ones that are either performed often enough that I can’t ignore them or so very bad that I cannot forget about them. Oh, and don’t freak out because I hate your favorite song, okay?

10. Dschingis Khan, Berryz- I haven’t seen the PV yet, so I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt and putting it at the least worst spot on this list. The song just really makes me cry for the Berryz. Some stupid old European song about a bloodthirsty warlord sung in a range that is far too high for them? It’s a mean joke being played on Berryz Koubou, that’s what it is, and I won’t stand for it!

9.Yeah! Meccha Holiday, Matsuura Aya- It goes on far too long with the “Yeah! Meccha..” lines and every time I hear that line, I’m less enthusiastic about it. It goes like this “Yeah!” “Yeah.” “Meh.” “Okay, knock it off already!” Maybe it’s not really Ayaya’s fault though. It might be all of the bad renditions of this song that have been done by other h!p members.

8.Aoi Sportscar no Otoko, Aoiro 7- I enjoy the “dame dame” part because it was used for the Hello Morning karaoke segments, and I loved those. I don’t like the song though because it’s rather tuneless. The chorus doesn’t even really have a melody. I don’t know how, or why, you would have a chorus without a discernable melody.

7.Dance and Chance, Coconuts Musume- What annoys me here is not the sound of the song, but that it’s full of really really lame English. Lyrics like that would get laughed at in America, and it makes me sad that some poor Japanese people might have been tricked into thinking they were cool. I blame Coconuts Musume as they knew full well how bad those lyrics were and yet they did nothing to stop this.

6. Hyoukkori Hyoutanjima, Morning Musume- Mari’s speech at the beginning of this single is engrish that I can get behind. Unfortunately, my appreciation for the song ends there. I don’t know why Morning Musume suddenly felt the need to release a song aimed at pre-schoolers, but I hope that they never do it again. I don’t even like facial hair on men.

5. Acchi Chikyuu wo Samasunda, Economi- Taking two of the very worst singers in h!p and having them “sing” a song together. Didn’t really think that through, did you Tsunku? “Sing” is in quotes because there’s not much actual singing, is there? Mostly it’s just talking. If I wanted to listen to a recording of people talking, I’d buy a book on tape.

4. Gag 100kaiban Aishitekudasai, Berryz- Don’t laugh, but I feel like this song is mocking me, I really do. The whole “sukinanda” part is done is this cutesy sing-songy voice that makes me feel like they’re repeating something I just said in a super-mocking way. “shuki nyaaan da shuki nyaaan da…” I wish I could gag them every time they go into that part. Hahahaha. I suddenly feel a bit better about the song.

3. Namida Tomaranai Houkago, Morning Musume- If you can stay awake long enough to notice, there are many things wrong with this song beyond how very very boring it is. Three of the four leads are KonKon (bless her heart), Sayu, and Rika (add Koharu, and you’ve got the 4 worse singers MM has ever seen). Worse, almost no one else sings at all, and several of the girls are wearing horrible shiny leisure suits for no apparent reason. Finally, the song is so utterly saccharine that it makes me feel a bit ill. KonKon singing, “My tears won’t stop… because I’m just too happy!” Bleeeeech.

2. Happy, Koharu- The short explanation is that listening to this song causes me to become violent. For the longer explanation: http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/17998.html#cutid2

1.Konnichi Pa, Kirari Kusumi- If worse songs than this exist in the world, I no longer want to be a part of it. Check the link above for further explanation.

Amen,

~Celestia~

Usually I try to space out posts in the same ‘series’ but I’m too excited about having finished this to wait. I realize that anyone reading this is probably significantly less excited about the completion of my top 20 list of h!p songs than I am, but I get some kind of weird satisfaction from composing well thought-out lists, so I’m pretty proud of myself. It’s the science major thing again. Yay for organizing data!!

First, links to the past posts in this series. If you are looking for explanation as to why I’ve chosen a particular song, check the appropriate link.

Berryz- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/18497.html#cutid1

Morning Musume- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/15062.html#cutid1

C-ute- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/11446.html#cutid1

Matsuura Aya- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/10287.html#cutid1

Shuffles- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/20907.html#cutid1

Minimoni- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/16188.html#cutid1

Melons/CountryMusume/W http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/12462.html#cutid1

And the entry before this one is Maki, VUDen, and the Gumis

THE LIST

20. Iroppoi Jirettai, Morning Musume

19. Jump, C-ute

18. Say Yeah! Motto Miracle Night, Morning Musume

17. Ai no Sono Touch my Heart, Otomegumi

16. Crazy About You, Minimoni

15. Zutto Suki de ii desuka, Matsuura Aya

14. Goodbye Natsuo, Matsuura Aya

13. Masaara Blue Jeans, C-ute

12. Aruiteru, Morning Musume

11. The Peace, Morning Musume

10. Koshi Teru Toki wa Itsumo, Berryz Kobou

9. Shabondama, Morning Musume

8. First Kiss, Aa!

7. Souda We’re Alive, Morning Musume

6. How do you like Japan, Morning Musume

5. Munasawagi Scarlet, Berryz Kobou

4. Tokkaiko Junjou, C-ute

3. Ai Araba It’s All Right, Morning musume

2. Koko ni Iruzee, Morning Musume

1. I Wish, Morning Musume

Whew. Yeah, there’s a lot of Morning Musume in there, but there’s a reason they’re my favorite. If I was any good at image-making I would make myself some kind of image of congratulations, but I might just be the most tec
hnologically incompetent blogger out there, hence the live journal rather than self-created blog. Instead, a totally unedited but still nice image of a couple of my favorite girls to cap off the entry.

Today’s costume hall of shame can be summed up in one word, a word which I personally feel should never be associated with Hello Project in any way. “Yeeeehaw!!!”

To start us off, Berryz, dressed as proper cowboys. At first glance, it’s not so bad. I’m not a fan of cowboy costumes being worn by anyone other than actual cowboys or 4-year-olds on Halloween, but I guess these are sort of cute. What really bugs meare the tiny hats. They’re supposed to be cute, but they remind me of clown hats. You know how clowns always have accessories that are the wrong size, right? Oversized shoes and bowties, cars and hats that are too small, etc. Worse, the clown with the tiny cowboy hatis notthe happy fun clown. He’s the sad kind of clown. He’s the clown that’s always getting pied in the face, or,at therodeo, chased by the raging bull. While I worry that the Ghengis Khan song is some kind of cruel joke on the Berryz, let’s not demote them to “sad clown” just yet.

Excuse me. Miss Running Deer? I hate to break this to you, but you’re not actually an indian priestess. You’re really a Japanese girl named Maki Goto. You see, there is no real tribe of Native Americans who make their traditional clothing out of sparkly brown camouflage fabric. Try to take it easy on the peyote next time, okay?

Ayaya is hereby crowned Queen of the Rodeo! She’s not just wearing a costume inspired by rodeo queens: I’m worried that she might have assaulted an actual rodeo queen and stolen her dress before this photo was taken. Or maybe she only stole half of a dress and made the other half herself, because I’m pretty sure this is actually the right and left half of two similar, but slightly different dresses sewn together. The hem is way shorter on one side, and there’s a seam down the middle. Good thing this outfit couldn’t get any worse.

Hoo! This little black number would be hot, if she hadn’t retained the heavily fringed arm warmers. At least all of the fringe sort of blended in with the equally fringe-happy rodeo queen dress. With all of the fringing concentrated on her arms, at best it looks like she’s wearing a silly minicape, and at worst it looks like she has a very serious arm-hair problem.

Well, that there’s perti’near it for the costume hall of shame rodeo. I’m gonna go ride off into one’a them sunsets now. Yeeeeehaw!

Wow. People are talking about Kouhaku like it’s the worst thing to happen to Hello Project since Aibon discovered nicotine. There were a lot of things that I think could have been better, but it certainly wasn’t the horrible disaster that people are making it out to be. I’ve actually heard it called a travesty, and that is just ridiculous. Let’s review

The Song Choice- This part seems to be the point drawing the most criticism,so I’ll tackle it first.Yes, Love Machine gets performed a lot lately, but I think that since the 10^th anniversary is now over, we won’t be seeing it nearly as much anymore. It was the “10^th anniversary party” after all. How could they not sing Love Machine? Don’t forget, we are h!p fans, but the average Japanese citizen is not seeking out every live broadcast featuring Morning Musume. This performance may well be the first time they’ve seen Morning Musume do Love Machine since Kouhaku a couple of years ago, if even then. This isn’t a phenomenon that only applies to Morning Musume. To draw an example from this year’s Kouhaku, you can bet that no matter how much new music SMAP produces, people are still going to be wanting them to sing Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana, because it was their biggest hit, and that’s what they’re known for. If people see the Rolling Stones, they expect to hear “Satisfaction”, if people see Journey they want to hear “Don’t Stop Believing”, and if you go to the Spice Girls reunion show, you’ll be disappointed if they don’t sing “Wannabe”. Random examples, I know, but they’re the first ones that came to mind. If you have seen the latest Morning Musume Concert, or the set list for the latest h!p Wonderful Hearts Concert, you will notice that Love Machinedoes not appear.For the devoted fans who come to their concerts and watch their every performance, they will sing other songs. For average Japanese people who maybe see them once a year, it’s Love Machine. Personally, I would have prefered another song, but given the circumstances, the choice makes sense.

I do strongly agree that Berryz should not have sung Tsukatta ni Kataomoi. Special Generation would have been a much better choice.

The Length-

Yeah, it should have been longer. Agreed 100%. By the time you started to get into one song, they were on to the next one. Though to those who are saying “C-ute won new artist of the year! They should get more attention”, they won that award the night before. It was just a wee bit late to change the entire format of the performance, even if they wanted to.

The Costumes-

Were they too much? Absolutely not. Have you seen Kouhaku? Everyone wears ridiculous and flamboyant costumes. It’s tradition! Besides, anything is better than that giant fuzzy red tophat Sayumi wore a few years ago. I personally thought that the costume change was executed very smoothly, thanks tothe Eggs help.

The Audience Reaction-

Here’s the thing. This was not an audience of crazy h!p wota like we’re used to seeing, and you can’t expect them to react as such. From what I could tell, the audience was primarily middle-aged Japanese men and women, many of whom were wearing suits. Polite clapping is probably considered a huge outburst for them. I wouldn’t read too much into the fact that they were not jumping up and down and screaming.

The Singing Quality-

I’m sorry, other than Yurina’s mic apparently malfunctioning, what exactly was wrong with the singing? I may be deaf, but I do not think it was a bad vocal performance. I would go as far as to call it a good vocal performance. Even Koharu’s line sounded pretty good. If you want to hear bad, check out Ayu’s number, or, God forbid, Leah Dizon. Both of those girls were so out of tune it was kind of painful, even if they looked great. H!P is not known for producing the best singers in the world, but they were faaar from the worst singers at Kouhaku, that’s for sure.

Soo.. it could have been a lot better, but it also could have been a lot worse. Please stop freaking out people. I garuntee you that we’ll be seeing a lot less of Love Machine in 2008 now that the 10^th anniversary year is over, k?

As we look to 2008, the question of whether or not Berryz and/or Cute can surpass Morning Musume, or even if that has already happened, is being asked more often than ever. I’ll be the first to admit that I favor Morning Musume over the other two groups, though I enjoy them all. Even so, I do believe that, at least for now, Morning Musume has the clear upper hand, both talent-wise and popularity-wise.

There are some who are proudly touting that C-ute, or even Berryz have now surpassed Morning Musume in terms of popularity. This is primarily based on the fact that C-ute’s latest single sold more than Morning Musume’s latest (though if you look at the final sales figures, the difference is very small, like 500 copies). Also factoring in is that Berryz and C-ute both performed with Morning Musume at Kohaku this year for the first, and hopefully not the last time. As for the single sales, I’m sorry, but Cute’s one single barely outselling one of Morning Musume’s singles does not count as surpassing them. Every single other song by Morning Musume has outsold every single other song by either kids group. I honestly think that it comes down to Tokaikko Junjou being a much better song than Mikan, or at least one that would appeal to the general public more. I know there are some hardcore Mikan fans, but if you asked someone on the street who knew nothing about either group to listen to both singles andthenasked them to name their favorite, I would bet money that 9 times out of 10 they would pick Tokaikko. I’m not ruling out the possibility that Cute or Berryz could surpass Morning Musume in terms of popularity as measured by sales figures at some point in the future, but until I see a few more singles repeating the results of the Tokaikko vs Mikan matchup or Cute and Berryz start getting invited to Kohaku without Morning Musume, I’m not ready to declare Momusu beaten in terms of popularity.

Even if C-ute and/or Berryz do start to consistently outsell Morning Musume, and that’s a big if, I still think thatneither Berryz nor C-ute is a better group than Morning Musume. I’ve watched all three of these groups perform many many times, and Morning Musume outshines both of the kids groups in terms of pure stage presence. They’re just a more polished, charismatic, and confident unit. They’ve got Ai-chan, Reina, and Risa who (controversial time) are better singers than any given member of the kids groups. They’ve got Sayumi, who is prettier than any given member of the kids groups. They’ve got Koharu who, due to her anime, is more popular with little girls than any given member of the kids groups (FACT). Eri, and potentially Aika, JunJun, and LinLin are all better singers than most of the kids, maybe excluding a couple of the best singers among them. There’s no lack of dancing talent among the Momusu either.

The kids sometimes look like they’re trying to act like idols. Despite their years of experience, they still sometimes have a certain “wait, am I doing this right?” look about them when they’re performing. I’d attribute this to them all joining at a young age, at the same time, and therefore not having as much of a chance to work with more experienced idols. Most of the Momusu seem to genuinely be idols, because they got to spend every day observing and learning from girls who had been doing it for years before they became leads in the group, and it shows. Watch all 3 groups perform on-stage during Kohaku. None of them look bad or anything, but it’s Morning Musume who grabs your attention with their energy. The kids tend to not take any risks onstage. For example, in Love Machine at Kohaku, there are certain parts where the girls get a bit of freedom with their dance moves. The kids all seem to play it safe, choosing moves that work, but don’t stand out. Then you’ve got Ai-chan doing some kind of crazy backbend during the beginning. I just don’t see any of the kids trying that one. I’m not only talking about Kohaku either. Watching the group’s individual concerts and you’ll find that Morning Musume really does put on a better show.

You’ve also got to consider the manner of their selection. The Morning Musume members were mostly selected as young teens, or at least pre-teens. Most of the kids were in the single digits, age-wise, when they were selected. The harsh truth is thatjust because they were cute kids doesn’t make them great idols today. Honestly ask yourself, if the h!p Kids had first auditioned for an idol group today, how many of them would have been picked? I do think that some of them do have special talent, and probably would be scooped up if they auditioned today. Others, I won’t name any names, just wouldn’t stand out in a crowd of idol hopefuls.When they were Berryz/Cute’s age, ALL of the current Morning Musume members stood out enough, in one way or another, to be picked for the group. I don’t say this to bash any members of Berryz or Cute. I do like all of the girls, and I’m glad they are where they are today. I only mean to be realistic about things.

In conclusion, to answer the question in the opening paragraph, it depends on what you mean by “supass”. Could Berryz and/or Cute soon surpass Morning Musume in terms of sales? Ummm, maybe, I guess. Can they surpass them in terms of becoming the superior group? Not any time soon. Hey, aren’tthey all one big happy h!p family anyway? If one group gains popularity, that serves to draw attention to the rest of them. Group hug!

I’ve looked at the future of the h!p kids, not it’s time to look at the past.That meansit’s Berryz Kobou’s turn to have me list their top 5 songs. Hora!

5.Anata Nashide wa Sekite Yukenai-

I have a very bad reason for picking this song for my list. I really really like the background music/vocals. The “what a night” parts, and especially the part between the verses and the bridge. That, “da dadada dadada dadada” part. That is an absolutely terrible description, and if anyone understands the part I’m trying to reference, you get a virtual Christmas cookie. Anyway, since this is Berryz first single, their inexperience shows in their vocals, and it does seem like an odd choice to have girls that young singing this kind of song as their debut, but every time I’m about to write off the song as a bad job, those background hooks pull me back in. Go Tsunku, I guess.

4.Kohaku Funsui no Hiroba

From Berryz first single to one of their most recent, and my how far they have come with their vocals. A ballad that gets stuck in my head. That’s something new. It needs more Chinami, but the style of the chorus, with the top 4 switching off at each line is particularly appealing. It almost sounds like a conversation going on between them with one girl asking something and the next one replying. Easily my favorite Berryz song of 2007.

3.Special Generation

SU-PE-SHA-RU GENERATION! Were you wondering where this one would show up? There’s a reason that we see this song over and over again at concerts. It plays really well to a live crowd with that opening, all of the “oi!”s, and its great dance beat. This song represented a big step up for the Berryz. In a similar manner to Cute’s latest single, one great song was all it took to make people start paying attention and taking them seriously as a group. With this single they announced, “We’re not just Morning Musume’s cute little backdancers anymore”. Speaking of dances, this song has an awesome one, and I love how that little swirly move at the very beginning as become iconic for the Berryz. As a final note, major props to LinLin for doing so well with Risako’s lines in this at the newcomers concert.

2.Koshi Teru Toshi Haitsumo

Here’s a first, a song’s A-side and B-side both making the list. It seems like all too often, if a single is great, it’s B side is probably going to suck. It’s like too much of Tsunku’s talent went into the A-side, and there just wasn’t any left for the coupling track. That’s not the case with Special Generation and its coupling track, Koshi Teru Toshi Haitsumo. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, I am a complete sucker for the younger girls doing super-high falsetto singing. Since this song is full of it, I was bound to love it. Also, you can really hear the feeling that the girls are putting into their voices, and there are a lot of lines from the girls we don’t hear from very much. I should point out that the quality of the song does not suffer as a result. This song is a fitting coupling track for Berryz defining single, further cementing that Berryz are not a novelty group, but a musical force to be reckoned with.

1.Munasawagi Scarlet

This song magically went from something I didn’t even like to my absolute favorite Berryz song. I think it took me a while to ‘get’ the style of it, but once I did, it was love. The guitar is awesome, the singing is awesome, the little curtsies in the dance are awesome, and yes, the Risako is awesome too. No one can do that, “mmm yes my love” hook like her with a perfect combination of child-like poutyness and saucy sexuality. I also really like the costumes because they’re pink and red and blue. Berry colors on the Berryz at last!

As a special bonus, here’s how I currently rank the h!p kids. I may get around to explaining this someday.

1. Momoko

2. Airi

3. Saki N.

4. Chisato

5. Chinami

6. Risako

7. Maimi

8. Yurina

9. Kanna

10. Saki S.

11. Mai

12. Maasa

13. Miyabi

14. Erika

Recently, I have been wondering about what the future holds for Berryz and C-ute. Being the proactive person that I am, I purchased a gently-used crystal ball off of E-bay and peered into the wikipedia of 2012 to find out what happened to the h!p kids. Here are the results.

Berryz- Breaks up in 2011 due to the departure their main singers

Risako- dishonorably discharged due to a scandal involving a relationship with a 25 year old man when she is 16. Reactions are mixed. Her haters rejoice, and her fans tear out their hair and weep openly in the streets. Later, people look at this event as the beginning of the end for Berryz Kobou since it was such a harsh blow to their image and popularity.

Miyabi/Momoko- Buono becomes a permanent unit in 2011, though it eventually loses its Shugo Chara ties after the anime is over. They go on to become one of h!p’s most successful groups.

Saki- Graduates to continue her schooling in 2009. Cries A LOT at her graduation. Momoko becomes leader.

Chinami- Following the departure of Momoko she briefly becomes leader. Berryz releases one more single with only Chinami, Yurina, and Maasa, but it sells very poorly, and the group is disbanded. Chinami joins Ongaku Gatas.

Yurina- Goes the way of Kei Yasuda. Tries to have a solo career, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. Appears in the all Hello Project concerts.

Maasa- Also fades into h!p obscurity following the break-up of Berryz. People always ask, “whatever happened to that girl anyway?” but no one is really sure of the answer. It’s presumed that she returned to normal life.

C-ute- Begins a Morning Musume-like cycle of graduations and new member additions with new members being selected from the younger Eggs rather than open auditions. Still producing music.

Maimi- Graduates in 2009 to have a solo career. One of h!p’s current most successful solo artists.

Erika- Agrees to become leader following Maimi’s graduation. Graduates herself in late 2011, but her fans assume it’s because the company made her rather than because she wanted to. Becomes another of those “solo artists” with h!p that doesn’t really do much.

Airi- Graduates early 2011 to continue with Buono. Also releases a solo single on occasion. Currently the most popular Hello Project member.

Chisato- Still a member of C-ute. One of their main singers now.

Mai- Also still a member of C-ute and a main singer. Releasesseveral photobooks which prompt fierce debate about a girl her age posing so provocatively.

Kanna- Never really gets much attention. Graduated in 2010 to return to normal life.

Saki- Current leader of C-ute as of Erika’s graduation.

And if I’m wrong about all of this, why, I’ll eat my hat!