Bikkuri Project

This entry is dangerous, because I really want to call “general opinions” on the quality of certain singles, but I have to realize that even if I hate a certain song, and believe that there are many others that share my opinion, there are also many others out there who loved that song. I want to say things like “most would agree” but I realize I don’t really have the authority to do so. Damn it if having to phrase everything as purely my opinion doesn’t undercut my argument though. Oh well. Nothing for it.

What I want to comment on what I believe is an unfortunate trend/strategy within h!p. I’ll elaborate by saying that the announcement of “Lalala Shiawase no Uta” as C-ute’s next single was not a shock to me in any way. It was a disappointment, and after watching the PV I am even more disappointed. So much so in fact, that I’m not going to bother to write about the PV other to say that Kanna looked cute, and that is the one and only good thing about it. The sad thing is, I could see something like this coming from the moment I heard Tokkaiko Junjou. Any idea what I’m hinting at yet?

The pattern that I have noticed is that when a group has a ‘break-out’ single, they will follow up with a sub-par single, banking on the popularity of the previous single helping them sell something that is far inferior. “Love Machine” was followed by “Koi no Dance Site”, a song that was considerably less marketable, but it sold because of “Love Machine”. “Iroppoi Jirettai” which was somewhat of a breakout hit for that time in MM, was followed by “Chokkan2″ which stinks of B-side (because it is!). “Love Namida Iro” was followed by “100kai no kiss”, the first, but certainly not the last of Aya’s boring ballads. PetiteMoni followed up “Chokkotto Love” arguably their most popular song, with “Seishun Jidai”, arguably their least popular song (how often do you see that performed in concerts?). And now, alas, it is C-ute’s turn to fall prey.

Maybe Tsunku just saves up all his less than great songs to be released right after a big hit. It happens too often for me to be able to believe that it’s just a coincidence. The management feels like it’s okay to slack off a bit after a hit single because they know they can get away with it. It makes me mad though. It’s lazy, and it’s a mean strategy. We get all excited about this awesome group that has this awesome song, so we rush to preorder their next single, but rather than moving forward and triumphantly following up with another good song, we end up disappointed. The song sells far more than it deserves to, and the group probably retains most of their fans because everyone still likes and remembers the good single. Everyone’s happy but the fans. All we can do is have hope, I guess, because most likely the next single will be better. I eagerly await, with crossed fingers, whatever C-ute will show us next.

Fondly Yours,

~Celestia~

The Japanese are known for having a deep appreciation for their four unique seasons. They express this appreciation through two time honored methods: haiku and ugly h!p costumes. You may find one of those to be an unusual method to commemorate the seasons, but you’ll just have to trust me and my extensive knowledge of Japanese culture on this one. Haiku really are supposed to have a seasonal theme.

When Autumn (aki) rolls around, things start to get a bit chilly, but that won’t stop C-ute! They don’t even let the fact that mustard yellow looks good on absolutely no one slow them down. While Maimi’s plaid short-shorts may be fashionable, they do nothing to protect her rear from the brisk breezes of fall, so she has attached a fuzzy green butt-warmer. It is practical as well as fashionable; doubling as protective padding should she slip on some fallen leaves and land on her ass. From what I hear, it was quite cheap too. She said she found it in a garbage can in a nice little neighborhood called Sesame Street. Say Maimi, next time you’re there can you ask about my friend Oscar? I haven’t heard from him for a while, and I’m starting to get worried.

Next up, Rika Ishikawa is looking festive for the holiday season, Winter (fuyu). According to a recent interview, her motto is, “if less is more, then more is even more than that, and that’s better, right?” She explained that she started with a nice beaded evening gown, but it just wasn’t enough. It needed something. It needed to be festooned with gigantic poofy bows, taffeta flounces of alternating colors, and a couple of leftover tartan kilts from her latest photobook “Alo Hello Rika Ishikawa in Scotland.” To finish off, she looked for a necklace, but they were all tangled together in a clumpy mess. “More is more” she thought, humming to herself and fastening the whole thing around her neck.

Ah Spring (haru). Here Ayaya demonstrates that nothing says ‘Spring’ quite like a gigantic butterfly perched on your head (for best results butterfly should be larger than head). How nice to see that she’s been taking fashion tips from Rika and has chosen to festoon one of the legs of her pants in floppy multicolored bows which doesn’t look ridiculous at all. It looks so not ridiculous that I almost didn’t notice that her shiny silver leather pants (there’s four words that should never appear together in a sentence) seem to have been violently sprayed with blood recently. You know, between the gore and the butterfly, the ruffly almost-vest isn’t even worth commenting on.

On a hot Summer (natsu) day, there’s nothing better than a nice dip in the pool. How very clever of Maki to wear what is clearly a bikini directly over her old T-shirt. Throw on a few belts and some red streamers and the whole audience is fooled into thinking that she’s wearing a concert costume. The protruding fringe of her bloomers making it look like she’s one of those little kids who wears a diaper under her swimsuit is a small price to pay to be able to hit the pool immediately after the concert. Sure, most people in this situation would wear the swimsuit under their clothes, but Maki is being a non-conformist, and you’ve got to respect her for that.

I’ll end with my own haiku.

Is Rika crazy?

I think she wants to eat me

I’m afraid. Send help!

Usually I try to space out posts in the same ‘series’ but I’m too excited about having finished this to wait. I realize that anyone reading this is probably significantly less excited about the completion of my top 20 list of h!p songs than I am, but I get some kind of weird satisfaction from composing well thought-out lists, so I’m pretty proud of myself. It’s the science major thing again. Yay for organizing data!!

First, links to the past posts in this series. If you are looking for explanation as to why I’ve chosen a particular song, check the appropriate link.

Berryz- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/18497.html#cutid1

Morning Musume- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/15062.html#cutid1

C-ute- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/11446.html#cutid1

Matsuura Aya- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/10287.html#cutid1

Shuffles- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/20907.html#cutid1

Minimoni- http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/16188.html#cutid1

Melons/CountryMusume/W http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/12462.html#cutid1

And the entry before this one is Maki, VUDen, and the Gumis

THE LIST

20. Iroppoi Jirettai, Morning Musume

19. Jump, C-ute

18. Say Yeah! Motto Miracle Night, Morning Musume

17. Ai no Sono Touch my Heart, Otomegumi

16. Crazy About You, Minimoni

15. Zutto Suki de ii desuka, Matsuura Aya

14. Goodbye Natsuo, Matsuura Aya

13. Masaara Blue Jeans, C-ute

12. Aruiteru, Morning Musume

11. The Peace, Morning Musume

10. Koshi Teru Toki wa Itsumo, Berryz Kobou

9. Shabondama, Morning Musume

8. First Kiss, Aa!

7. Souda We’re Alive, Morning Musume

6. How do you like Japan, Morning Musume

5. Munasawagi Scarlet, Berryz Kobou

4. Tokkaiko Junjou, C-ute

3. Ai Araba It’s All Right, Morning musume

2. Koko ni Iruzee, Morning Musume

1. I Wish, Morning Musume

Whew. Yeah, there’s a lot of Morning Musume in there, but there’s a reason they’re my favorite. If I was any good at image-making I would make myself some kind of image of congratulations, but I might just be the most tec
hnologically incompetent blogger out there, hence the live journal rather than self-created blog. Instead, a totally unedited but still nice image of a couple of my favorite girls to cap off the entry.

Does the title sound like the start of a good story? Because it’s really not. I just feel like I haven’t updated in a while. This is because not much has been happening in the H!P world lately. I know there is going to be a massive wave of releases soon, but for now, I’ll just have to tide myself over with the recently released Athena & co PV. Here’s a link!

http://www.dohhhup.com/movie/vdDB5SXNb96jjSW9HUVdaPA26bpZ4aLs/view.php

It’s nothing too spectacular, but I wasn’t expecting anything too spectacular, and it was much more interesting than their first PV since they had props and multiple scenes this time. They did some cute things with the props like Saki feeding something to her hot-dog octopus, Chisato attempting to flip the (burgers? pancakes?), and the last shot of Gaki-san playing with the little anime character things was precious. The Minimoni feel is stronger than ever in the PV. Four girls? check. Plaid uniforms? check One girl wears a costume that really stands out? check Cute cartoonish house set with cooking/playing with food (see minimoni movie) check Cute childish song? check check checkaroo.

As for the individual girls, Risa really sparkled in this one. I can’t think of a better word for it. She was just plain sparkly. Her smile could melt formica. Aika was adorable as always, and the two C-ute girls seemed to work the camera a bit more than they did in the last PV. I was especially impressed with Saki for looking very very pretty (not just cute, pretty), and appearing quite lively and interesting. I still love Chisa’s voice, but she still looks a bit more awkward in front of the camera than the others.

For the personal update part, I got presents from Japan! I regularly correspond with the host family I stayed with four years ago, and today I received a big box of gifts from them for New Years! Yay!

Wow. People are talking about Kouhaku like it’s the worst thing to happen to Hello Project since Aibon discovered nicotine. There were a lot of things that I think could have been better, but it certainly wasn’t the horrible disaster that people are making it out to be. I’ve actually heard it called a travesty, and that is just ridiculous. Let’s review

The Song Choice- This part seems to be the point drawing the most criticism,so I’ll tackle it first.Yes, Love Machine gets performed a lot lately, but I think that since the 10^th anniversary is now over, we won’t be seeing it nearly as much anymore. It was the “10^th anniversary party” after all. How could they not sing Love Machine? Don’t forget, we are h!p fans, but the average Japanese citizen is not seeking out every live broadcast featuring Morning Musume. This performance may well be the first time they’ve seen Morning Musume do Love Machine since Kouhaku a couple of years ago, if even then. This isn’t a phenomenon that only applies to Morning Musume. To draw an example from this year’s Kouhaku, you can bet that no matter how much new music SMAP produces, people are still going to be wanting them to sing Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana, because it was their biggest hit, and that’s what they’re known for. If people see the Rolling Stones, they expect to hear “Satisfaction”, if people see Journey they want to hear “Don’t Stop Believing”, and if you go to the Spice Girls reunion show, you’ll be disappointed if they don’t sing “Wannabe”. Random examples, I know, but they’re the first ones that came to mind. If you have seen the latest Morning Musume Concert, or the set list for the latest h!p Wonderful Hearts Concert, you will notice that Love Machinedoes not appear.For the devoted fans who come to their concerts and watch their every performance, they will sing other songs. For average Japanese people who maybe see them once a year, it’s Love Machine. Personally, I would have prefered another song, but given the circumstances, the choice makes sense.

I do strongly agree that Berryz should not have sung Tsukatta ni Kataomoi. Special Generation would have been a much better choice.

The Length-

Yeah, it should have been longer. Agreed 100%. By the time you started to get into one song, they were on to the next one. Though to those who are saying “C-ute won new artist of the year! They should get more attention”, they won that award the night before. It was just a wee bit late to change the entire format of the performance, even if they wanted to.

The Costumes-

Were they too much? Absolutely not. Have you seen Kouhaku? Everyone wears ridiculous and flamboyant costumes. It’s tradition! Besides, anything is better than that giant fuzzy red tophat Sayumi wore a few years ago. I personally thought that the costume change was executed very smoothly, thanks tothe Eggs help.

The Audience Reaction-

Here’s the thing. This was not an audience of crazy h!p wota like we’re used to seeing, and you can’t expect them to react as such. From what I could tell, the audience was primarily middle-aged Japanese men and women, many of whom were wearing suits. Polite clapping is probably considered a huge outburst for them. I wouldn’t read too much into the fact that they were not jumping up and down and screaming.

The Singing Quality-

I’m sorry, other than Yurina’s mic apparently malfunctioning, what exactly was wrong with the singing? I may be deaf, but I do not think it was a bad vocal performance. I would go as far as to call it a good vocal performance. Even Koharu’s line sounded pretty good. If you want to hear bad, check out Ayu’s number, or, God forbid, Leah Dizon. Both of those girls were so out of tune it was kind of painful, even if they looked great. H!P is not known for producing the best singers in the world, but they were faaar from the worst singers at Kouhaku, that’s for sure.

Soo.. it could have been a lot better, but it also could have been a lot worse. Please stop freaking out people. I garuntee you that we’ll be seeing a lot less of Love Machine in 2008 now that the 10^th anniversary year is over, k?

As we look to 2008, the question of whether or not Berryz and/or Cute can surpass Morning Musume, or even if that has already happened, is being asked more often than ever. I’ll be the first to admit that I favor Morning Musume over the other two groups, though I enjoy them all. Even so, I do believe that, at least for now, Morning Musume has the clear upper hand, both talent-wise and popularity-wise.

There are some who are proudly touting that C-ute, or even Berryz have now surpassed Morning Musume in terms of popularity. This is primarily based on the fact that C-ute’s latest single sold more than Morning Musume’s latest (though if you look at the final sales figures, the difference is very small, like 500 copies). Also factoring in is that Berryz and C-ute both performed with Morning Musume at Kohaku this year for the first, and hopefully not the last time. As for the single sales, I’m sorry, but Cute’s one single barely outselling one of Morning Musume’s singles does not count as surpassing them. Every single other song by Morning Musume has outsold every single other song by either kids group. I honestly think that it comes down to Tokaikko Junjou being a much better song than Mikan, or at least one that would appeal to the general public more. I know there are some hardcore Mikan fans, but if you asked someone on the street who knew nothing about either group to listen to both singles andthenasked them to name their favorite, I would bet money that 9 times out of 10 they would pick Tokaikko. I’m not ruling out the possibility that Cute or Berryz could surpass Morning Musume in terms of popularity as measured by sales figures at some point in the future, but until I see a few more singles repeating the results of the Tokaikko vs Mikan matchup or Cute and Berryz start getting invited to Kohaku without Morning Musume, I’m not ready to declare Momusu beaten in terms of popularity.

Even if C-ute and/or Berryz do start to consistently outsell Morning Musume, and that’s a big if, I still think thatneither Berryz nor C-ute is a better group than Morning Musume. I’ve watched all three of these groups perform many many times, and Morning Musume outshines both of the kids groups in terms of pure stage presence. They’re just a more polished, charismatic, and confident unit. They’ve got Ai-chan, Reina, and Risa who (controversial time) are better singers than any given member of the kids groups. They’ve got Sayumi, who is prettier than any given member of the kids groups. They’ve got Koharu who, due to her anime, is more popular with little girls than any given member of the kids groups (FACT). Eri, and potentially Aika, JunJun, and LinLin are all better singers than most of the kids, maybe excluding a couple of the best singers among them. There’s no lack of dancing talent among the Momusu either.

The kids sometimes look like they’re trying to act like idols. Despite their years of experience, they still sometimes have a certain “wait, am I doing this right?” look about them when they’re performing. I’d attribute this to them all joining at a young age, at the same time, and therefore not having as much of a chance to work with more experienced idols. Most of the Momusu seem to genuinely be idols, because they got to spend every day observing and learning from girls who had been doing it for years before they became leads in the group, and it shows. Watch all 3 groups perform on-stage during Kohaku. None of them look bad or anything, but it’s Morning Musume who grabs your attention with their energy. The kids tend to not take any risks onstage. For example, in Love Machine at Kohaku, there are certain parts where the girls get a bit of freedom with their dance moves. The kids all seem to play it safe, choosing moves that work, but don’t stand out. Then you’ve got Ai-chan doing some kind of crazy backbend during the beginning. I just don’t see any of the kids trying that one. I’m not only talking about Kohaku either. Watching the group’s individual concerts and you’ll find that Morning Musume really does put on a better show.

You’ve also got to consider the manner of their selection. The Morning Musume members were mostly selected as young teens, or at least pre-teens. Most of the kids were in the single digits, age-wise, when they were selected. The harsh truth is thatjust because they were cute kids doesn’t make them great idols today. Honestly ask yourself, if the h!p Kids had first auditioned for an idol group today, how many of them would have been picked? I do think that some of them do have special talent, and probably would be scooped up if they auditioned today. Others, I won’t name any names, just wouldn’t stand out in a crowd of idol hopefuls.When they were Berryz/Cute’s age, ALL of the current Morning Musume members stood out enough, in one way or another, to be picked for the group. I don’t say this to bash any members of Berryz or Cute. I do like all of the girls, and I’m glad they are where they are today. I only mean to be realistic about things.

In conclusion, to answer the question in the opening paragraph, it depends on what you mean by “supass”. Could Berryz and/or Cute soon surpass Morning Musume in terms of sales? Ummm, maybe, I guess. Can they surpass them in terms of becoming the superior group? Not any time soon. Hey, aren’tthey all one big happy h!p family anyway? If one group gains popularity, that serves to draw attention to the rest of them. Group hug!

Here is the promised review of C-ute’s latest concert tour “Aki Houkago no Essence”. If it seems like I’m focusing on some parts more than others, it’s because I am.

The concert opens with a nice performance of “Tokaikko Junjou”, though I have yet to see a bad performance of that song. Kanna mouthing “are you ready” at the beginning is the best part, but what I’m more inclined to pay attention to are their awesome costumes. Seriously, they’re wearing some of the best costumes I’ve seen from Hello Project in years! I especially like Nakki’s. Speaking of Saki, she gets the award for “most enthusiastic” this concert. I love watching that girl dance, because even if Maimi is technically better, Saki always looks like she’s having a blast out there.

http://img232.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1193989294qa4.jpg

I question the wisdom of putting “Meguru Koi no Kisetsu” next, because that’s putting two very demanding dances back to back, and you can tell they’re out of breath. Next is “Sakura Chirari”. All 3 of their major singles in a row in reverse order?? Anyway, C-ute’s first single bores me, and it probably always will. Shuffling in place on stage does NOT count as a dance.

The transition to “Endless Love” is nice. Fortunately, this song does have an enjoyable dance, and I am impressed by how Mai handled her lines, though I remain confused by her having so many of them in a song this mature-sounding. I kind of dislike the song itself though, since it’s recycled T&C Bomber material. Good thing C-ute’s getting a new album so they can have more songs of their own to perform.

The next number, “Time Capsule” is a Maimi/Saki duet. Bring on the only song in C-ute’s arsenal that bores me more than “Sakura Chirari”! It doesn’t help that Miss Saki is not sounding her best here. So, overall, this section is not my favorite part of the concert, but don’t worry; it gets better.

It’s Buono time! <3 Momoko and her speaking voice. I'm quite tickled by the thought of Berryz leads as guests at a C-ute concert. I do like Berryz, but I think C-ute deserves a bit of revenge for playing 2^nd string to the Berryz for so long. It broke my heart a little bit when C-ute was being interviewed, and they talked about how they all attended Berryz Kobou’s first concert and cried the whole time. I doubt Momoko and Miyabi are humiliated or anything, but I do wonder if it stings a little for them to be dancing backup for C-ute during the encore.

Coincidentally, shortly before I watched this I had viewed another C-ute concert DVD. It was their first full concert DVD in fact: Hajimette yo Cutie Show. I couldn’t help but compare the C-ute of today to the C-ute of about one year ago and marvel at how far some of them have come both in stage presence and vocal ability. I can see noticeable improvement in everyone except maybe Airi, and she was already ahead of most of the others anyway, so it’s more like they’ve caught up to her a bit than that she’s fallen behind. I’m going to go ahead and give the “Most Improved” award to Kanna, with Erika in a close second. In their first concert, Kanna can be easily picked out as the worst singer in the bunch and the least confident on stage, but in the more recent show she’s finally holding her own with the other girls. She still looks bit..worried…sometimes, but she’s definitely doing better. Erika has also shown noticeable improvement in vocals. I imagine she’s been working pretty hard on improving her voice. Let’s look at the perfect example from this concert, Erika and Kanna’s duet of “Tsuugaku Vector”. Yeah, Airi did it better, but I’m still going to give these two kudos for doing as well as they did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h0xZqFSPeU

Next is “Everyday Yeah Kataomoi”. Aren’t they a little old to be singing this song anymore? Oh well. Just goes to show that you can’t totally take the cute out of C-ute. I like that everyone is wearing a costume of “their” color. It helps you to figure out who is cheering for who when you look out at the glowsticks in the audience. Lots o’ green out there…

Following that, it’s a full group rendition of “Disco Queen”. Awesome! Talk about a song that’s really grown on me. It seems a bit strange to have everyone out there singing what was originally a duet, but I like the look of everyone doing the dance together, so I’m going to give this one a thumbs up.

Bishoujo Shinri is an awesome song, and a nice followup to “Disco Queen”. It’s like they took the dance style and kicked it up a notch. I like how everyone gets lines in the verses, and they all do very well with them. C-ute really is the group with no weak link. They’re not all spectacular, but none of them are bad singers. Airi, of course, does most of the work here vocally, handling all of the difficult chorus lines. Surprisingly, she struggles a little on her first section, though she does seem to get it together by the end, it looks like she’s working really hard to hit those notes. I almost feel sorry for her. Couldn’t they give someone else a line of the chorus to give Airi a chance to catch her breath?

“Massara Blue Jeans” is one of my favorite performances of the concert. The energy goes up another notch from Bishoujo Shinri. I love it when sets build on themselves like this. Maimi stood out the most to me in this number, as she seemed to have energy to spare despite having every right to be exhausted. From watching her, I get the feeling that she really enjoys performing this song. I was rather impressed with her vocals as well, but then it was brought to my attention that she may well be lip-syncing her way though this concert due to having a sore throat. Hmm. Her voice sounded fine while she was talking, but come to think of it, she really should sound more out of breath than she does. It’s kind of sad if she is lip-syncing. I hope she doesn’t have any kind of chronic condition.

Can’t seem to find Massara by itself, so here it is with Bishoujo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y5pgyw5eIk&feature=related

After shedding a layer of costume, Mai and Chisato emerge to sing “Futari wa NS” with Chisato taking Koharu’s lines. This might just be the best thing ever. Attention to whoever makes the setlists for concerts: LET OTHER PEOPLE SING MORE OF KOHARU’S SONGS. I can’t believe how much more I like the song with Chisa singing it instead of “Kirari”. It makes me wonder how many of Koharu’s songs really are good, but I can’t appreciate them with her grating voice smeared all over the music. It makes this performance all the cuter that Chisato and Mai are friends in real life. Wait a minute… is Mai taller than Chisa now?

I’ve already mentioned Maimi’s solo, but to recap: Maimi= too hot to be only 15.

Everyone’s back on stage for the last set. The costumes look suspiciously like they have feathery bustles, but I’m going to let this one go since they aren’t large enough to make the girls resemble exotic fowl. “That’s the Power” is usually a song that I’m fond of, but Erika decided to spice things up a bit by yelling something about towels all the time. I’m not sure if it’s some kind of Japanese cultural thing that I don’t understand, but I found it to be really annoying.

“As One” was good. I had never noticed before, but Maimi and Erika are harmonizing with Airi while she sings the lead chorus part. Is it sad that it’s a novelty for an h!p group to do their own harmonizing on stage? It does seem that some of them are capable, and it really does add something to the show. I don’t see why they don’t do it more often. Also, LoL at Airi always singing “as wow” instead of “as one”.

“Yes Shiawase” is also recycled T&C Bomber fare, so meh. The galloping across the stage is cute I guess. Oh, and Chisato grabbed and kissed Maimi when they were supposed to only be pretending to kiss in a move that will go down in both C-ute history and a plethora of animated GIFs.

I was deeply disappointed that they gave Chisato’s opening lines in “Bokura no Kagayaki” to Airi. The girl has so few lines as it is! Why oh why did you give away some the best lines that do belong to her!?! It’s not that Airi sang them badly, but I was so angry that it ruined the whole song for me.

By the time they get to “Jump” the girls are clearly tired, so it’s not the best performance of the song I’ve ever seen. It really is mean to put a song that requires you to jump up and down at the end of a long set. They give it their all though. I believe that Saki was jumping the highest (which is why she’s the “most enthusiastic”)

Encore! First is “Ookina Ai de Motenashite” with the aforementioned Berryz leads as background dancers. Of course, being “Ookina Ai de Motenashite” it’s adorable, and the addition of Momoko makes it even more so. It’s a Momo kind of song.The final number was “Wakkanai Z”. Not much to say about that one. It’s a good closer.

Whew. That was tiring. Don’t expect any more entries from me for a few days. I need a vacation after this.

C-ute’s new concert DVD came out and nobody told me!! Aaaarg! That’s what I get for not paying attention I guess. Well, I plan to do a full write-up on the concert as my next post, but in the meantime, watch this clip of Maimi’s solo, and let the denial begin. This girl is 15 years old. You think Koharu looks old for her age? At least Koharu still has some youthful dorkiness about her. Koharu is a bit awkward, and her solo songs are aimed at kids. Maimi, on the other hand, is pure sexiness here. I can’t even imagine Koha dancing like that.

She’s only 15. Please keep telling yourself that until you believe it.

Recently, I have been wondering about what the future holds for Berryz and C-ute. Being the proactive person that I am, I purchased a gently-used crystal ball off of E-bay and peered into the wikipedia of 2012 to find out what happened to the h!p kids. Here are the results.

Berryz- Breaks up in 2011 due to the departure their main singers

Risako- dishonorably discharged due to a scandal involving a relationship with a 25 year old man when she is 16. Reactions are mixed. Her haters rejoice, and her fans tear out their hair and weep openly in the streets. Later, people look at this event as the beginning of the end for Berryz Kobou since it was such a harsh blow to their image and popularity.

Miyabi/Momoko- Buono becomes a permanent unit in 2011, though it eventually loses its Shugo Chara ties after the anime is over. They go on to become one of h!p’s most successful groups.

Saki- Graduates to continue her schooling in 2009. Cries A LOT at her graduation. Momoko becomes leader.

Chinami- Following the departure of Momoko she briefly becomes leader. Berryz releases one more single with only Chinami, Yurina, and Maasa, but it sells very poorly, and the group is disbanded. Chinami joins Ongaku Gatas.

Yurina- Goes the way of Kei Yasuda. Tries to have a solo career, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. Appears in the all Hello Project concerts.

Maasa- Also fades into h!p obscurity following the break-up of Berryz. People always ask, “whatever happened to that girl anyway?” but no one is really sure of the answer. It’s presumed that she returned to normal life.

C-ute- Begins a Morning Musume-like cycle of graduations and new member additions with new members being selected from the younger Eggs rather than open auditions. Still producing music.

Maimi- Graduates in 2009 to have a solo career. One of h!p’s current most successful solo artists.

Erika- Agrees to become leader following Maimi’s graduation. Graduates herself in late 2011, but her fans assume it’s because the company made her rather than because she wanted to. Becomes another of those “solo artists” with h!p that doesn’t really do much.

Airi- Graduates early 2011 to continue with Buono. Also releases a solo single on occasion. Currently the most popular Hello Project member.

Chisato- Still a member of C-ute. One of their main singers now.

Mai- Also still a member of C-ute and a main singer. Releasesseveral photobooks which prompt fierce debate about a girl her age posing so provocatively.

Kanna- Never really gets much attention. Graduated in 2010 to return to normal life.

Saki- Current leader of C-ute as of Erika’s graduation.

And if I’m wrong about all of this, why, I’ll eat my hat!

Maimi/Ai- The leader of the group, one of the prettiest in the group, some of the strongest vocals, gets a lot of lead parts and central positions, kind of a bland personality, can sound manly when singing low parts sometimes, great dancer

Mai/Aika- The youngest in her group, cute/strong/nasally voice, gets a fair amount of lines considering that she’s the youngest, really adorable, seems mature for her age and pretty even-keeled, has anime tie-ins

Erika/JunJun- tallest, one of the oldest(or the oldest in Erika’s case) somewhat awkward at dancing, pretty strong vocals but not that many lines, seems a little unsure of herself but can be funny, not that popular overall

Airi/Koharu/Reina- gets a lot of lead lines and central positions in photos, one of the younger members but not the youngest, often wears her hair pulled back in a high bun or ponytail, has anime tie-ins and a large wota following (koharu/airi), has one of the best voices in the group and can pull off the gothic Lolita style and was in Aa! (reina/airi), one of the most popular members of her group

Kanna/Risa- kind of the forgotten girl pushed to the corner of formations and photos, cheerful and bouncy, good at dancing, great smile and reactions, occasionally gets a solo line and usually sounds good when she does, not all that popular especially when she first joined

Chisato/LinLin/Eri- the quirky goofy one, has a surprisingly good voice but never seems to get many solo lines or a central position, can be really funny, one of the younger members (linlin/chisato), has fans who constantly gripe about how underutilized she is (eri/chisato)

Saki/Sayumi- pretty girl with pale skin and nice black hair, not a very strong singer so she doesn’t get very many lines, has quite a few very hardcore fans/worshippers, has made noticeable improvement in singing since she joined her group

I think this worked out pretty neatly. What do you think?

edit: just for fun, if you combine the names you get Aimi, Maika, Junrika, Koaina, Kisa, Cherilin, and Sayuki. I think I may have just created the best idol group EVER!!