Bikkuri Project

Welcome to the costume hall of shame! In these features, I lovingly make fun of some H!P’s more cringe-worthy wardrobe choices. I really do like most of H!P’s costumes, but it’s fun to be snarky sometimes, so on with the show! For previous costume hall of shame entries, look for the posts with pictures.

Today’s costume hall of shame touches on a topic very near and dear to my heart, marching band uniforms. Yes, I wasn’t always the infathomably cool person you see before you today. No, in high school, I was in marching band. As such, I was occasionally required to wear a marching band uniform. Let me tell you some things about marching band uniforms.

1. They are as uncomfortable as hell
2.They are designed to make everyone’s torso look like an identical box (no hips, no boobs, no waist, wide shoulders)
3. They are not, and never will be cute. Ever.

Which brings me to the distressing reason for today’s entry. Someone at the H!P wardrobe department is designing costumes that look like marching band uniforms. Marching Band uniforms belong in a parade, or possibly a football half time show, but NOT on stage during a Hello Project concert. Behold (sorry for the crappy pics):

I am especially concerned about Maki here. Doesn’t that outfit just look horribly heavy? I’m afraid that she’s about to collapse under the weight of that hybrid “marching band uniform- velvet curtains stolen from an abandoned mansion” monstrosity that she’s wearing.

I know that the Japanese love uniforms, but allow me to suggest some uniform styles that are much cuter than marching band:
school, police, girl scout, boy scout, stewardess, waitress, nurse, soccer, military, postal worker, McDonald’s employee, star trek, prison, and TV repairman. If you run out of ideas, I can come up with more, just please, no more marching band uniforms, okay? I guess it could be worse though. I don’t see any feathery hats.

I was going to hold off on doing another one of these, but i was looking through my pictures and i found these gems, and I just couldn’t resist! Today we once again have two very worthy entries into the Costume Hall of Shame. First off, it’s Morning Musume again!


Taken seperately, the parts of this costume would be unattractive. Put together, and it’s an awful mess. The worst part is the lime green skirt… thing. It looks like it was trying to be a tutu, but there was a wardrobe malfunction that caused it to start slipping off on one side, and then it begun to unravel over there, so it ended up flapping around their legs. That must be annoying. Since the tutu wasn’t doing the job anymore, they went ahead and slipped a pair of white short-shorts underneath. Then there’s the gigantic gold and rhinestone colar that just screams “I bought this at party depo to go with my Cleopatra costume for Halloween” and is not in the LEAST bit gaudy. And what’s this on the other side of Ai-chan’s leg? Looks like the designers thought the costume was too asymetrical with stuff only hanging down around one leg, so they added a strip of the bedazzled material to the other side to compensate. It almost looks like some kind of tail peaking out from under the skirt, doesn’t it? The finishing touch has got to be the clumps of pastel yellow, blue, and pink ribbons attached to Ai-chan’s back and Reina’s hip. Those things came out of nowhere! Moving on…

Multiple choice quiz time. Ayaya is….
A.The victim of a tragic arts and crafts accident that involved her being doused in glue and dropped into a vat of pom-poms
B.Trying to be more fluffy than all of MorningMusume in the Bonkyu Bomb tour encore combined, because she’s just that good
C.Paying for losing a bet with Mikitty (she would make someone wear this, wouldn’t she?)
D.The Queen of the Rainbow Tribbles! All hail the queen!!!!!

Maybe it looks better from the side?

I’ve decided to start a new feature in this blog. What’s that you say? You didn’t know this blog had features? Well it does, okay! There are the detailed member assesments (only 1 to go (Risa’s). i’ll probably do that next entry), lists of favorites and not so favorites, and also random tidbit pages. Okay, so maybe there aren’t really features, but from now on there are because it’s my blog and I said so. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, the new feature is……Hello Project Costume Hall of Shame!!! I could talk about the costumes that I love, but it turns out that it’s much more fun to mock things, so I’m going that way.

Today, in honor of it being the first real feature, I’m going to write about 2 costume choices that have recently surfaced. Actually, these two outfits were kind of my inspiration for writing about this. First off, coming to us from the encore portion of the Aki bonkyu bonkyu bomb concert tour, if you’ve seen it, you probably hate it, being modeled by the lovely Ai-chan and her assistant Gaki-san, (as linlin would say) Dan Dan Dan!!!

The H!P costume designers, upon putting these two colors together thought… well, they look like shiny pineapples now, but I just don’t think it’s, you know, flashy enough. Heeeeeey, we’ve got lots of feather fluff left over from the Onna ni Sachi Are costumes! For extra pizazz, let’s glue them all over their costumes while blindfolded and drunk. The leftover pieces we can just stick in random spots on their heads. Sounds perfect!

The second inductee into the Hall of Shame is VUDen from the latest Hello Project summer concert.

Poor girls. Someone seems to have popped the largest bubblegum bubble ever all over them moments before they stepped on stage! That’s going to take absolutely forever for them to scrape off…