Archive for the 'Maki' Category

Nov 14 2007

Costume Hall of Shame Busts some Bustles

Published by celestia under Costume Hall of Shame, Maki, Momusu

So far, I have declared war on fuzzballs, marching band uniforms, and excessive fabric. Today the Costume Hall of Shame congratulates bustles on joining that prestigious list. The bustles’ unforgivable sin can be explained very easily: They make your ass look huge on purpose! Really, there’s not a whole lot more to it, but if you ask any girl, she’ll probably agree that that’s enough to have bustles and those who design them condemned to hell.


Ai-chan “Yeah, this feathery bustle is awesome!”
Reina “Just shut up Ai! We look like huge-assed ostriches, and your strutting is making it worse”
Ai-chan *cries*

But there’s something worse than attaching a bustle to the back of your skirt: attaching a bustle to the back of your shorty-shorts. Let’s look at Yuko Nakazawa demonstrating in some poor quality screen shots (sorry). This might just be one of the least flattering looks that the h!p wardrobe department has come up with. Miss Hotness looks like Miss Chunky, and that’s not okay. That’s mostly the sparkly silver unitard’s fault though. As though the sparkling silver unitard wasn’t adding enough pounds, they have attached a cascade of golden poofy fabric to her rear. It’s like they were trying to make her a pretty formal dress, but they got lazy and stopped halfway through. How much better would this outfit have looked if they had continued the skirt all the way around? As it is now it’s the reverse mullet of costumes: Party in the front and business in the back (and ugly all around).

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Nov 08 2007

Costume Hall of Shame: When Fabric Attacks!

Published by celestia under Costume Hall of Shame, Maki

The costume Hall of Shame theme for today (if you didn’t read the title is…)

When Fabric Attacks!!!

Yes, fabric attacks have been on the rise in Hello Project. It starts with the idea “hey! We can have them wear one costume over another skimpier costume, and then they can change really quickly mid-show!” It’s a good idea in theory, but sometimes the costume designers seem to get so excited about the sexy 2nd costume that they forget that the idol is going to have to appear onstage in the first one. They start whipping around the layers of fabric, and soon the singer is more cocooned and bloated-looking than a silk worm. Let’s look at Goto Maki, who I’m beginning to suspect decided to leave h!p solely because of the wardrobe choices in her latest concert tour.

I realize that she’s going for a “period” look, but good lord. There’s more fabric on her right now than I have on my entire bed (and my bedroom is really cold!). The impression I’m getting is less “regal French courtesan” and more “regal French jellyfish”.


Oh come on! Were they even trying to make this look like an outfit and not a large blanket that’s been awkwardly bunched up and pinned onto Maki? Wait. I see what really happened here. Granny Goto has seen the shockingly indecent clothes her granddaughter has been wearing in photos lately, and so she set out to crochet the largest and bulkiest shroud she could in order to protect Maki’s modesty. I can say with confidence that her modesty is well protected here. Pull the hood down a bit, and that could be Tsunku under there and you wouldn’t know the difference!

Well, that’s all for this time. Sorry I’ve been picking on Maki so much, but I really think that these outfits deserve it. Now that you’ve seen what excess fabric can do if unchecked, please remember that if you see any fabric behaving suspiciously, do not panic! Contact the proper authorities and…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Watch out Ai-chan!!! There’s something climbing up your shoulder and I think it’s heading for your face!!!!

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Oct 26 2007

What would Sousa think?

Published by celestia under Costume Hall of Shame, Maki, Momusu

Welcome to the costume hall of shame! In these features, I lovingly make fun of some H!P’s more cringe-worthy wardrobe choices. I really do like most of H!P’s costumes, but it’s fun to be snarky sometimes, so on with the show! For previous costume hall of shame entries, look for the posts with pictures.

Today’s costume hall of shame touches on a topic very near and dear to my heart, marching band uniforms. Yes, I wasn’t always the infathomably cool person you see before you today. No, in high school, I was in marching band. As such, I was occasionally required to wear a marching band uniform. Let me tell you some things about marching band uniforms.

1. They are as uncomfortable as hell
2.They are designed to make everyone’s torso look like an identical box (no hips, no boobs, no waist, wide shoulders)
3. They are not, and never will be cute. Ever.

Which brings me to the distressing reason for today’s entry. Someone at the H!P wardrobe department is designing costumes that look like marching band uniforms. Marching Band uniforms belong in a parade, or possibly a football half time show, but NOT on stage during a Hello Project concert. Behold (sorry for the crappy pics):

I am especially concerned about Maki here. Doesn’t that outfit just look horribly heavy? I’m afraid that she’s about to collapse under the weight of that hybrid “marching band uniform- velvet curtains stolen from an abandoned mansion” monstrosity that she’s wearing.

I know that the Japanese love uniforms, but allow me to suggest some uniform styles that are much cuter than marching band:
school, police, girl scout, boy scout, stewardess, waitress, nurse, soccer, military, postal worker, McDonald’s employee, star trek, prison, and TV repairman. If you run out of ideas, I can come up with more, just please, no more marching band uniforms, okay? I guess it could be worse though. I don’t see any feathery hats.web stats script

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Oct 25 2007

Stuck in my Head

Published by celestia under Ayaya, Kirari, Maki, Momusu, c-ute, top lists

I want to make a ranked list of my favorite hello project songs, but every time I try to, I have too much trouble deciding. In the spirit of ‘baby steps’, instead, I have here to offer you today a list of the top 10 songs that get stuck in my head the most. I should note that I, sadly, have not listened to every Hello Project song ever, and so this list is slanted toward those artists that I listen to more often. These aren’t my favorite songs, and most of them would not be on my Top 10 favorites list at all, but they are the songs that I seem to find the catchiest. I braved listening to most of these songs and getting them all stuck in my head at once in a horrible maddening medly in order to bring you this entry, so I hope you appreciate it! tongue.gif Starting with the least likely to get stuck in my head and moving up to the most likely!

10. Ookina ai de motenashite-Cute, I don’t mean the whole song. Just the titular super cutesey super high lyrics. Of all the songs that tend to get stuck in my head, this one by far annoys me the most.

9. Dekkai uchuu ni ai ga aru-MM, it’s the chorus. They just sing it over and over and over again.

8.Zutto suki de ii desuka?-Ayaya, I’m not sure why this one is so catchy for me, but the chorus really is

7. Ai no imi wo oshiete-W, “Egao o afureteru mou mainichi daisuki na no” it’s the high cutsey thing again! the second most annoying song to frequently get stuck in my head

6. Balalaika-Kirari, What can I say? I don’t think a list of h!p songs that get stuck in your head could be complete without this one. I believe that it sold so well only because it wouldn’t stop playing in people’s heads until they bought the CD and could play it for real. Clever Koharu…

5. Hare ame nochi suki-MM sakuragumi, mostly the “ne hare dooriame nochi SUKI” line. Yeah, I’m kind of surprised when ballads get stuck in my head, but this one always does.

4. Aruiteru-MM, another ballad? Yeah, but only for the relentlessly repeated “nanananananana” parts.

3. Yuruki! It’s Easy-Maki, Now this one deserves it’s own special place among the songs that annoy me, because it causes only two words to repeat over and over in my head, “daijoubu kitto daijoubu…daijoubu kitto daijoubu…daijoubu kitto daijoubu…etc. until the end of time”

2. Genki jirushi no oomori song- Minimoni, An odd choice I know. I wanted to put this song lower down, but I had to be honest with myself and give it the number 2 spot. Something about the chorus just sticks with me. That, and whenever I hear the word ‘genki’ I have an almost unstopable urge to break into this song.

1. Go girl koi no victory-MM, Easy, easy choice. This song was MADE to get stuck in your head. I honestly don’t see how it could not. This song also holds the dubious honor of being the only song to get its dance stuck in my head. Is that even really possible?web stats script

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