Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Jul 28 2009

Real Subtle Tsunku

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Hey all. I’ve been back in America for a few weeks now, visiting my family, so I’ve been away from the blog. I expect to be seeing the H!p summer concert soon though. I’m pretty excited about the set list. Several brand new songs, and I really feel like my h!p concert experience won’t be complete unless I see “Special Generation” and “Jump” at least once in concert.

I’m actually writing this entry because I bought a new DS game. Tsunku-produced “Rhythm Heaven” to be precise. It’s quite fun and simple. Reminds me of WarioWare. Anyway, in one of the little rhythm games you play the fans doing cheers while a girl (obviously an idol) performs. The thing is… the fans are monkeys. MONKEYS. I guess we know what Tsunku really thinks of the wota now.

Check out the screen shots.


Ook,

~Celestia~

4 responses so far

Jun 18 2009

More Revivals

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The surprises keep coming. It seems that not only will MiniMoni be reformed, but new units for Pucchimoni and Tanpopo are also in the works. It’s not clear at this point whether or not these units will be releasing new material or just be concert/ cover album units, but it’s certainly…interesting news. I’m pretty much behind the Minimoni idea, because, as I’ve said, I think there is a need in h!p for a more kid-oriented group right now. Pucchimoni and Tanpopo though… I dunno. Is there really a gap there that these kind of units can fill?

Actually, from Tsunku’s blog entries so far I’ve gotten the impression that MiniMoni will be doing new songs and whatnot, but the other two probably aren’t… but I could be totally wrong about that. We’ll just have to wait and see!

The members of the other two revived h!p units will be announced at the summer concert, so we’ve got like a month to speculate. I like to get my speculation done early though, so here’s who I think should be included.

MiniMoni- Already talked about this, but besides LinLin and Kanon, I would pick Momoko and Maeda Irori (egg). The first two members announced were such good choices though, that it almost doesn’t matter who the other two are.

Tanpopo- Risa (because she has Tanpopo experience. Also because I adore her), Maimi (I find it hard to imagine a scenario where Maimi is left out of this shuffle extravaganza), Eri (she’s just got the right voice for it), Maeda Yuuka (to add youth and cuteness). This is what I’d hope for, but I bet ManoEri gets in somehow.

Pucchi Moni- Maasa (has gained popularity lately. it’s about time for her to be in a subunit, and pucchimoni would be a good fit. She’ll be Yossie), Noto Arisa (soo cute in Eggs performance of Chokkoto Love. She’ll be Kei), Reina (and she’ll be Goto, since she idolizes her! It’s perfect!)

I’ve tried to include at least one member of Momusu, one of the kids groups, and one of the eggs in each unit for balance and the true “shuffle” experience. It’s going to feel like a long time to wait until we find out who’s in for real.

~Celestia~

3 responses so far

May 28 2009

The Great MiniMoni Revival

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If you hadn’t heard, it’s happening! Tsunku recently wrote about his plans to revive MiniMoni in his blog HERE, and it was further confirmed in both Mari and Tsuji’s blogs that Tsunku has discussed this with them. MiniMoni is coming back, with 4 new members, one of whom will be current Egg and soon to make her major debut as a Smilage (s/p?) member, Fukuda Kanon. Okay, it’s official that Kanon IS young Aibon. Tsunku is still considering who to add as the other 3 members.

So far, it seems like the fan community is full of very strong opinions ranging from major enthusiasm to utter horror. Right now, I’m going to put myself in the category of cautiously optimistic, depending on who the other 3 members are. Overall, I would say that I’m in favor of the idea. I can understand the argument of the main doubters, “But MiniMoni just won’t be the same without Mari, Mika, and the Top 2″. This is true. Just because it won’t be the same doesn’t mean it won’t be good though. Morning Musume hasn’t been the same since (insert name of favorite graduated girl) left or ever since (insert name of least favorite current member) joined, but that’s just how things work in h!p. MiniMoni isn’t some sacred untouchable thing, and there are a lot of very good reasons to revive the concept at this time.

1. Increase h!p’s “kid appeal”. Especially with Kirarin Revolution ended, h!p needs a group aimed at youngsters now to expand their fan demographic.

2. With MM, C-ute, and Berryz to a certain extent moving in a more mature direction, MiniMoni can help keep the silliness in h!p

3. Who wouldn’t love to see the old MiniMoni songs performed live again? I know I would.

4. The people who were fans of MiniMoni as kids are older now. For the new generation of kids it will be something totally brand new. It’s just like how care bears, ninja turtles, and my little ponies keep being successfully “revived” every generation or so.

The other major point of contention is who the other 3 group members should be. I’m going to go ahead and assume that while the rigid 50cm or less height rule is no longer in place, all of the members probably will be short girls. Kanon certainly is. That means that, for example, Koharu and Maasa are probably out.

There has been a lot of support around the idea of LinLin as the token “foreign” member, and I couldn’t agree more. She’s SO wacky, has a great voice, and a ton of enthusiasm AND she’s tiny. The girl has MiniMoni written all over her, and I will be quite disappointed if she’s not included.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this one, but I could really see Reina stepping in to fill Mari’s older girl, leader role. She’s always been a big Mini Moni fan, she’s short, she’s a good singer, she knows how to act cutesy, and we know she looks good in pigtails. The argument against that would be that Reina is already getting enough attention in Morning Musume, but when has that ever stopped Tsunku from putting people in sub units? (Buono anyone?)

The only other Momusu I could see possibly being included is Aika, but I’m kind of unsure how I feel about that.

From Berryz, Momoko would probably be the best fit. In fact, I’d say she would be a shoe-in if she weren’t already involved in Buono. Being part of two major groups might just be too much, so I doubt she’ll be included. Too bad, because she’d be great at it. Other than Momoko, the only other one who I could see is Captain, for her height, but I don’t think her personality really fits MiniMoni. She’s just a bit too calm.

From C-ute I’d take Chisato. Short, peppy, good voice, and she has a mischievous streak. Mai is young, but her personality is all wrong for it.

Another option is Kanon’s fellow Smilage member, Ogawa Saki. The two are good friends, so Saki could be the Tsuji to her Aibon, so to speak. Another tiny girl with a strong voice, Saki might be a good fit, but then again, it would be kind of weird to have a full half of the new Egg Unit be involved in another active unit.

If we’re looking to the Eggs for members, I think Maeda Irori or Takeuchi Akari would fit the bill.

Waiting Eagerly,

~Celestia~

6 responses so far

Feb 03 2009

H!p Concert Goer’s Guide

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Well, since I’ve been to a few h!p concerts now, I think it’s time for me to pass on all my collected wisdom. There are always people asking for concert-going advice, so here’s all I have to offer consolidated in one handy blog entry.

STEP 1: Get to Japan.

I recommend airplanes.

STEP 2: Acquire Tickets

This seems to be the step that the most people get caught up about. Here are the two methods I have used. You can decide what’s right for you.

  • Online. If you are good at reading Japanese and posses a Japanese mailing address, e-mail address, and credit card, you can attempt to go directly to an online resale site such as Tickets Japan. If you don’t have all of those things, you can use an intermediary. I’ve used Shopping Mall Japan and found them to be reliable, though they do take a commission for the service. If you choose this website, after registering, go to the tickets Japan site, find the item you want to buy, then proceed to the “Website Order” form and fill out as directed. It’s reliable, and you can order well in advance, so no worries about whether or not you’ll be able to find tickets. The major downside to this is that tickets will be delivered about 1 week before the performance, so if you live outside of Asia, they probably won’t get to you in time unless you have a Japanese mailing address.
  • Ticket Resellers. There are a number of ticket resellers in Japan. The one that I have used is called Yokohama ticket, which has a few locations in Tokyo. I went to the Shinjuku location. The website that I linked displays what tickets are available each day, but be careful, because that only applies when they first open, so the item you want could be already sold by the afternoon. There’s a map from the Shinjuku station HERE. Make sure to head out the South side of the station (the one with the big staircase) NOT the Central side (they’re kind of separate), or you will get very confused. Head for the one of the tunnels going under the big road, then turn left  down the first small sidestreet off of the main drag. It’s a small yellow building right next to McDonalds. The triangular building on the map, by the way, is called “Green Peas” and is actually very green, so that’s a good landmark if you’re lost. Anyway, the tickets are in display cases with their prices. Just point to what you want, and the sales people will get it out for you.  If you buy a ticket really close to the day of the show, it will be really cheap, but, of course, it’s kind of risky to put it off that much. It’s your call.

There are also sometimes scalpers in front of the venue, but I wouldn’t really recommend that option. Another consideration with tickets is how many to get. You might think that going to a show once is enough…but it’s really not. Do yourself a favor, and buy tickets to a couple of shows if possible. Lastly, “is it worth it to pay more to be closer to the front?”. I’d say yes, but it depends on you. You’ll enjoy the concert atmosphere plenty in the backest of the back rows, but if you’re interested in making eyecontact with the girls or getting a clear view of their facial expressions, you’ll want to try to sit somewhere in the first half of the floor section.

Step 3: Plan

  • One essential part of this is figuring out exactly how you are going to get to the concert venue. Japan is hella confusing. The layout of the streets makes zero sense and a lot of the streets don’t even have names. First, locate the train station closest to your concert venue. To figure out how to get there from the station closest to where you’re staying, THIS SITE is a huge huge lifesaver. That is, unless you enjoy spending hours poring over route maps. Try to find the website of your venue (enter the kanji into a search engine). There’s probably a map of how to get there from the nearest train station on the site. If it looks like it might be difficult, it’s probably not a bad idea to either scope things out the day before or arrange to arrive really super early.
  • You should also decide how early you want to arrive. Honestly, unless you’re worried about getting lost or want some goods that you fear might sell out (birthday goods tend to), you really don’t need to get there more than an hour before the concert starts.
  • What to bring: Your ticket (duh), water (or plan to buy some on the way, because you WILL get hot and thirsty, even if your concert is in the middle of winter), light clothes (for the same reason, or plan to buy a T-shirt), comfortable shoes (unless you are sitting in the family section) and money (in cash) for buying goods/train fare. Remember, most places in Japan don’t take credit cards, and most ATM machines only work with Japanese cards. If you happen to be an obsessive blogger *cough cough* paper and pencil to take notes might also be nice. If you bring a camera, prepare for the possibility that it could be confiscated. They do search bags, and at the last concert I went to, they even patted everyone down.

Optional Pre-Concert Steps

  • Familiarize yourself with the set list/listen to a concert recording. I recommend this because you’ll probably be wanting to know what cheers fit where in the song, and you don’t want to be worried about figuring that out during the actual concert. If you don’t care, that’s cool too, but be aware that you will be one of the only people in the room out of sync with everyone else. Nothing to stress about, but I think it’s more fun if you can join in with the crowd. Oh, and for the record, if everyone’s chanting someone’s name during a song: Takahashi Ai= Ai-chan, Niigaki Risa= Gaki-san, Kamei Eri=Erinrin, and Mitsui Aika= Mittsi. The others (JunJun, LinLin, Reina, Koharu, and Sayumi) can just be called by their given name.
  • Familiarize yourself with the dance moves. The next level of devotion, and certainly not required. I’m not even talking about the full on dances here. A few people do that, but I think it’d be hard to enjoy the concert if you were concentrating that much on the dances. I’m just talking about certain key arm movements, mostly during the singles. For example, raising one hand in the air during Mikan, the titular part of “Renai Revolution 21”, or that waving thing during the “lonely boys and girls” part of Koko ni Iruzee. Everyone’s going to be doing it. You might as well too.

Step 4: The Concert

Congratulations! You’ve made it, and I’m sure you’re going to have a blast.

  • The first thing you probably want to do is locating the goods table. What to buy? Whatever you want! You’re at a h!p concert, so don’t be afraid to go crazy. I’d definitely recommend buying something to wave, glowstick in your favorite member’s color or an uchiwa. I (and most of the fans) prefer glowsticks because they’re less likely to block someone’s view and they can be seen in the dark. A T-shirt would probably be nice too.
  • Walk around, and take in the atmosphere. Marvel at how many females are there. Admire people’s crazy photo collections. Oggle at the people who have chosen rather flashy ways to express their devotion to a particular girl.
  • Line up to get inside and find your seat. It shouldn’t be hard. No point in doing that too early though. The concert will start exactly on time, most likely, so you don’t want to be late, but most people will be loitering around outside until 10-15 minutes before the show begins.
  • HAVE AN AWESOME TIME! Wave that glowstick! Jump up and down and scream your favorite member’s name! Love every minute of it!

Step 5: Go Again

Was that helpful? I hope so,

~Celestia~

6 responses so far

Jan 24 2009

Desperation is Not Pretty

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A quick warning. This post is probably neither work safe nor kid friendly.

Sigh. I debated whether or not to show these pictures/ write about this, but in the end, I felt like something had to be said. That something is as follows: What the hell is Kago Ai thinking? A series of increasingly porny “preview” photos of her have been surfacing recently. At first, people were arguing that they are “artistic” and “trying to adopt a more mature image” which is all well and good, but the most recent photos to appear have been undeniably trashy like so…

I mean, c’mon. This could have been taken directly from some cheap porno, just add a few white streaks. Sorry if that’s in bad taste, but this whole affair is in bad taste, so I think it’s warranted.

Not to mention that she really doesn’t have the figure for grauve work like this. It’s not that she’s fat. She’s lost a lot of weight, it’s just that her proportions are wrong for it. Her waist is too short, her breasts are too small, her legs are shapeless, and her shoulders are too broad. The sad truth is that no matter how skinny she is, she will never have a nice enough figure to be able to compete with the real grauve models.

It’s worse than being porny though. These shots are just so utterly unflattering to poor Ai. The lighting is terrible and the poses are worse. She looks sickly, and possibly drugged.

It’s like her pimp just threw her against that wall for being uppity and then a car drove by and splashed her with icy gutter water.

My problems with Aibon doing this kind of work go way beyond her previous childish image. If she wants to prance around in her underware, more power to her, but could she at least try to do it with a tiny bit of class or dignity? Without looking cheap? Without making faces like this?

I feel bad for this girl. She just seems so…lost. She’s kind of like the Japanese version of Britney Spears only (thankfully) without the kids. She’s trying to make a comeback at a time where it seems like she still might be kind of emotionally unstable, and I’m afraid that she’s making choices that she will regret later.

Okay. End rant.

Sigh,

~Celestia~

9 responses so far

Oct 19 2008

OG To Graduate

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How’s that for big news?

My initial reaction was shock that H!p would just dump all of these girls at once, but the more I think about it, the more this sort of reorganization makes sense. It seems that at least some of them will still be represented by UFA, so most of what has changed is that they will no longer be labled as “Hello Project”. Who knows, maybe this means that they will actually be able to do more since, let’s face it, the Elder Club has done practically nothing this year. Maybe some of them will choose to leave show business all together, and if so, more power to them. With all the members of the Elder Club, h!p was beginning to feel more and more crowded with lots of idols with nothing to do. I think it makes sense to “release” them at this time. Now H!p will be pared down to just the “Big 3” (MM, Berryz, and C-ute) along with ManoEri, the Eggs, and the various anime units.

Yeah, it’s a big change. We might not know just how big until the dust settles and the eventual fate of all those OG groups and artists becomes more clear.  It makes me sad that we won’t be seeing any more big all h!p concerts with thier wonderful hearts/elder club shuffled groups. On the other hand, I tend to skip past the dreary ballads of the OG soloists when I watch h!p concert DVDs anyway. Also, it looks like there will be no more of Morning Musume’s OG usurping the current group on televsion performances.

The biggest question for me is what will become of the Gatas, both Ongaku and Brilliantes? Ongaku gatas is part of the Elder club, and so they should be graduating, but there are still the 3 eggs to consider. Will they be graduating from Eggs as well, or will those three be in both Ongaku Gatas and h!p somehow? And what about the Gatas Brilliantes h!p soccer team? Many of their members come from C-ute and Berryz. Will the team still fall under h!p even though many of its members don’t? Will the team be dissolved but Ongaku Gatas still exist as its own entity?

Well, a lot of us probably thought that the elder club members would kind of be around forever, but it looks like we were wrong. I really hope that whatever they are going on to now, it’s better than what they’ve been getting. I hope this doesn’t essentially amount to a mass firing and betrayl by h!p, but rather, a positive change for these women. Nothing to do now but wait, I guess.

~Celestia~

7 responses so far

Jun 17 2008

Creative Input

Published by under Johnny's,Uncategorized

I shall warn you now, this post makes mention of Johnny’s, for comparison’s sake.

Being a fan of both h!p and Johnny’s, I can’t help but notice that the differences between the two organizations stretch waaay beyond gender and level of popularity.  One major difference is that the Johnny’s groups, especially the more established groups, have lots of creative input in their work, and as far as I can tell, the h!p girls have next to none. Of the two groups that I am fans of, the majority of the members routinely write their own solo songs, as well as other songs for their group on occasion. The group rappers write their own raps, even for their major singles. Some members choreograph some dances, and they all seem to have a big say in what goes on in their concerts, from ideas for effects, staging, and props to selecting their own set-list (which I know that at least Arashi does). Arashi also named their last album themselves, and I know that KT at least had input as to which songs made the final cut for their last album. H!p concert MCs are usually completely scripted. The only words of their own choosing that come out of the girls mouths are their self-introductions and goodbyes, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they have to run those by the management and get them approved ahead of time. Johnny’s MCs follow a much looser format. Often it’s just the members out there shooting the breeze, and if there are some specific topics or format that they’re supposed to use, it’s still usually nothing scripted.

I wonder why the management trusts the h!p girls so little. I think the fans would love to hear them making amusing conversation amongst themselves during the concert MCs instead of reciting jokes that sometimes fall flat. It’s much more personal that way, isn’t it? I’m sure some of them are capable of writing song lyrics. The Johnny’s  boys are no smarter than h!p’s girls, and I’d be really interested to see what they came up with. Even if it was just songs that were only performed in concert, it would be something. I’m also sure that all the groups have members who are capable of choreographing a simple dance routine for a concert performance, and I bet the more experienced members could come up with some good ideas for the concert set-up too. They’ve been doing this long enough. They should know what works and what doesn’t. Also, why shouldn’t they be allowed to pick their own set-list? They’re the ones who are going to be singing those songs, and I think that at least the group leader and sub-leader could be trusted with that responsibility. Maybe not for the younger groups, but certainly for Morning Musume and the Elder Club members. I think that maybe they’re sometimes allowed to select their own solo songs, but why not give them a chance to do more than that?

There are advantages and disadvantages to giving the members of h!p more creative input. There’s a possibility that they don’t even want it. Maybe they prefer just following instructions and not having to worry about being creative or coming up with ideas. It’s certainly easier for them, and if something doesn’t work, the blame will fall on their management, not on the girls themselves. Also, Tsunku seems to be very protective about no one else writing songs for his idols, so he might object to the competition even if it was from the idols themselves. On the other hand, maybe their work would be more fulfilling for them if they felt like they had a larger part in the decision making process. Also, they might just be able to be taken a tiny bit more seriously as artists rather than just as idols. I know that they will never in a million years escape the “idol” moniker, but if we could say that “Maimi Yanjima choreographed that dance!” or “Ai Takahashi wrote that song!”, then I think they would gain another level of credibility. Finally, I think that the fans would love to see even more of their favorite idol put into what they do, and even if something didn’t work quite as it should, they’d be a lot more forgiving if they knew that the girl they worship was in charge rather than some far off and faceless producer.

 So, wha’da you think?

~Celestia~ 

18 responses so far

Apr 14 2008

I know what I know and that’s all that I know

Published by under Uncategorized

A recent blog entry by Kimitsu has really got me thinking on the subject of how well we do or do not know our idols. It’s something that bloggers touch on a lot, I know, but I’d like to put in my two cents on the matter. This paragraph in particular caught my attention.

“No matter how much we learn about their personalities, we can never completely tell how much is real and how much is just marketing. Of course, it’d be great to say that they’re all amazing actors if what we see is completely made up, but once we do get to know the actual person and know for certain that it is them, we’ve crossed the intangible line that separates a fan and friend. (You can be a friend and a fan; but not a fan and a friend, if that makes any sense.) But with the high level of exposure idols get doing what they do, it’s all to easy to imagine that we’ve crossed that line.”

True…. But I’d like to take a moment to argue the other side of things, since I’d say that the above is representative of the prevailing opinion in the blogosphere. I believe that we, the fans, do in fact “know” our idols better than their casual friends, and certainly better than their casual acquaintances. We’ve watched them for countless hours doing everything from playing stupid games on TV shows, to interacting with each other behind the scenes or even on hidden camera, to performing in concert in front of thousands of fans. We’ve seen them laugh and we’ve seen them cry. We’ve watched and read interviews, and seen them reveal countless little things about themselves through their answers to questions, anecdotes, personality quizzes, and how they react to things. We’ve heard their other group members tell stories about them. Picture your favorite idol. I’d reckon that you could easily write several pages on their likes and dislikes, background, personality quirks, and other traits. Now picture someone who you consider to be a casual friend. Could you do the same for them? I know I’d be struggling to finish an entire page.

I acknowledge that everything we see and hear about our favorite idols (expect for tabloid stuff) is carefully filtered, but do you reveal all of your darkest and innermost thoughts and feelings to your acquaintances and casual friends? No. The side of yourself that you present to them is just as filtered, if not more so, than what the idols present to us. We see idols in a huge variety of situations and expressing a huge variety of emotions, while the ways in which you see your casual friends are usually much more limited. So can we know, really know, an idol? Of course not. But how many people do you think really know you? Maybe your close family members and a couple of best friends? There are plenty of things we don’t know about our idols. Important things, no doubt. There are also plenty of important things we don’t know about those whom we consider to be our friends. Kimitsu writes that the line between fan and friend is, “[when] we get to know the actual person and know for sure that it is them”. I’d argue that even with “friends”, it is nearly impossible to know for certain that what you are seeing is “them”. What you are seeing is a certain side of themself that they are choosing to present to you, and that’s the same thing you are seeing from an idol.

One may argue that there is a difference between fandom and friendship in that the idol is essentially trying to sell themself to you while a friend is not. However, I still think that even though no money is exchanging hands in a friendship, the situation is essentially the same. Aren’t trying to make a good impression on a new acquaintance, not making a casual friend privy to all the gory details of your love life, or smiling at a someone, even if you are in a bad mood, all ways of “selling yourself” to that person? The only thing it comes down to is trying to make another person like you. Even if you claim to be someone who “doesn’t care what other people think of me”, I’d imagine that you don’t mention your darkest personal secrets to casual friends or acquaintances. I’d also imagine if you think about why that is you’ll find that it’s because you don’t want them, or other people who they might tell, to think badly of you. Therefore, I’d imagine that you are a liar when you say you don’t care what other people think about you. Everyone’s selling themself. Idols are just a lot more up-front about it.

There is, of course, a big difference between the idol-fan relationship and friendship, and that is that there is no reciprocity in the idol-fan relationship. The idol knows absolutely nothing about you and they don’t care about you, at least not on a personal level. Friendship is a two-way street, so it would be incorrect to consider your favorite idol to be your friend. However, if a fan cares about an idol and knows a fair amount about them, I’d say the one-way street from that person to the idol is qualitatively no different from friendship.

Thoughts? I’m so ready to debate this!

~Celestia~

2 responses so far

Feb 12 2008

Metablogging Experiment

Published by under Uncategorized

I have attempted to delve into the minds of the Musume, perhaps it’s time to delve into my own mind for once. I seem to spend an awful lot of time blogging, and I’m certainly not getting paid for it or doing so under duress, so we can assume that I enjoy it. The more I think about it though, the more unsure I am about exactly why I blog. I’ve considered a few options.

1. I’m hoping to spread news of Hello Project and earn them more fans.

No, I don’t think this is it. I’m writing under the assumption that everyone who bothers to read this blog is already at least familiar with h!p, so I doubt I’m creating any new fans. I guess that particular motivation is more accurate now that I have two blogs, because I can do some cross-promoting. I feel guilty when I do that though, so I try to keep it to the minimum.

2. I like writing in general, and practice makes perfect.

There may be some truth to that. I’ve loved to write since I first learned how, and have, at various times in my life, considered trying to make a career of it. I do hope that keeping this blog, not to mention receiving critiques from comments/international wota write-ups, will work to improve my writing skills. I don’t think this is my primary motivation though. I mean, I could be writing anything, so why this?

3. I feel that my opinions are superior to all others and therefore, the world needs to hear them.

Gee, I hope that’s not it. That would make me kind of an ass, wouldn’t it?

4. I love Jpop, and Hello Project in particular, but I don’t have anyone to talk with about it, so I use this as an outlet.

It’s true! I’ve even posted about that particul
ar frustration. I think I’m getting warmer now.

5. I am just as much an attention whore as Reina, and I keep this blog because compliments, recognition, and the knowledge that lots of people are reading it makes me ridiculously happy

Uh oh. That might well be a big part of it. To think that I criticized Koharu for being an attention whore, when I may well be worse than she is. Oh cruel irony! I don’t like exploring my mind anymore. It’s full of uncomfortable truths. This exercise is over!

Owatta,

~Celestia~

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Feb 10 2008

Bottom 10

I have listed my very favorite Hello Project songs, so now what’s left for me to do but list my very least favorite? Look forward to seeing my most mediocre h!p songs in the next post! Just kidding on that one (maybe). Did you know that ‘mediocre’ is a rather difficult word to spell? Thank God for spell checkers. Anyway, there are quite a few h!p songs that are bad by virtue of being boring, but I listen to those songs once and then forget about them. The songs on this list are the ones that are either performed often enough that I can’t ignore them or so very bad that I cannot forget about them. Oh, and don’t freak out because I hate your favorite song, okay?

10. Dschingis Khan, Berryz– I haven’t seen the PV yet, so I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt and putting it at the least worst spot on this list. The song just really makes me cry for the Berryz. Some stupid old European song about a bloodthirsty warlord sung in a range that is far too high for them? It’s a mean joke being played on Berryz Koubou, that’s what it is, and I won’t stand for it!

9.Yeah! Meccha Holiday, Matsuura Aya– It goes on far too long with the “Yeah! Meccha..” lines and every time I hear that line, I’m less enthusiastic about it. It goes like this “Yeah!” “Yeah.” “Meh.” “Okay, knock it off already!” Maybe it’s not really Ayaya’s fault though. It might be all of the bad renditions of this song that have been done by other h!p members.

8.Aoi Sportscar no Otoko, Aoiro 7- I enjoy the “dame dame” part because it was used for the Hello Morning karaoke segments, and I loved those. I don’t like the song though because it’s rather tuneless. The chorus doesn’t even really have a melody. I don’t know how, or why, you would have a chorus without a discernable melody.

7.Dance and Chance, Coconuts Musume- What annoys me here is not the sound of the song, but that it’s full of really really lame English. Lyrics like that would get laughed at in America, and it makes me sad that some poor Japanese people might have been tricked into thinking they were cool. I blame Coconuts Musume as they knew full well how bad those lyrics were and yet they did nothing to stop this.

6. Hyoukkori Hyoutanjima, Morning Musume- Mari’s speech at the beginning of this single is engrish that I can get behind. Unfortunately, my appreciation for the song ends there. I don’t know why Morning Musume suddenly felt the need to release a song aimed at pre-schoolers, but I hope that they never do it again. I don’t even like facial hair on men.

5. Acchi Chikyuu wo Samasunda, Economi- Taking two of the very worst singers in h!p and having them “sing” a song together. Didn’t really think that through, did you Tsunku? “Sing” is in quotes because there’s not much actual singing, is there? Mostly it’s just talking. If I wanted to listen to a recording of people talking, I’d buy a book on tape.

4. Gag 100kaiban Aishitekudasai, Berryz- Don’t laugh, but I feel like this song is mocking me, I really do. The whole “sukinanda” part is done is this cutesy sing-songy voice that makes me feel like they’re repeating something I just said in a super-mocking way. “shuki nyaaan da shuki nyaaan da…” I wish I could gag them every time they go into that part. Hahahaha. I suddenly feel a bit better about the song.

3. Namida Tomaranai Houkago, Morning Musume- If you can stay awake long enough to notice, there are many things wrong with this song beyond how very very boring it is. Three of the four leads are KonKon (bless her heart), Sayu, and Rika (add Koharu, and you’ve got the 4 worse singers MM has ever seen). Worse, almost no one else sings at all, and several of the girls are wearing horrible shiny leisure suits for no apparent reason. Finally, the song is so utterly saccharine that it makes me feel a bit ill. KonKon singing, “My tears won’t stop… because I’m just too happy!” Bleeeeech.

2. Happy, Koharu- The short explanation is that listening to this song causes me to become violent. For the longer explanation: http://celestia-414.livejournal.com/17998.html#cutid2

1.Konnichi Pa, Kirari Kusumi- If worse songs than this exist in the world, I no longer want to be a part of it. Check the link above for further explanation.

Amen,

~Celestia~

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