It’s not just the wonky eyes
Posted in H!P & TNX on June 4th, 2009 1:15 by HenkkaTags: berryz koubou, morning musume, reina tanaka, °c-ute
In the past few weeks, I’ve successfully lured a friend of mine into H!P fanhood. It’s a first for me!
It all started on a drunken weekend a couple of weeks ago when I made him watch Gee by Girls’ Generation (please don’t tell me there’s still anyone out there who hasn’t heard it.) From there on I (curiously) decided to show him some Berryz Koubou. The interesting thing is, he liked all the tracks I would’ve never thought to use when introducing the group to someone. I was showing him some of their coolest tracks and he was going “meh…“, but then he somehow managed to catch a glimpse of Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance and basically said “holy shit, this is awesome.” I gave him my copy of Waracchaou yo BOYFRIEND just to get him more into Berryz and, well, I think it worked out pretty well considering he’s seeing ‘tallica in a few weeks’ time (he’s been a fan for years), and just now he said to me “Henkka, you’ve no idea how I’d love to see Berryz Koubou or °C-ute live instead.”
In any case, while his top Momusu girl seems to be Takitty, he’s started to take a liking to Reina now as well. I told him they like to call her a wonky-eyes and he couldn’t understand why. I showed him several pictures, including this one (from 2ch I presume?) where they’ve “fixed” her face:
When he saw that, he told me she looked super weird and asked if I was sure it wasn’t a photoshop. Well, I took an objective look at the first image in the series and indeed, it’s not often she has face days quite as bad as that. It didn’t take me long to figure out that was from the PV to Namida ga Tomaranai Houkago so I went to investigate and see if she really looked like that in the original capture. The answer is yep, she does.
Now, to explain what I meant with the title of this post… the longer you look at this picture, the more you realize something shocking. With this post I want to clear a misconception there is about Miss Wonkyfied. My friends, it’s not just Reina’s eyes that are wonky, her entire face is fucked. Look at the 2ch picture to make it easier to see this. Not only is her right eye (from our POV) higher than the left one, so is everything else: her right eyebrow, the right part of her nose and even the right side of her lips. Her face is completely messed up. I’m not much of a man of faith but I’m just saying, if someone specifically “created” Reina, that dude was having the worst shivery hangover of his life. There’s just no way this one came out the way he originally planned it.
Ah well. Wonky-faced or not, slut or not, this girl is still lovely. She’s adorable. Listen to Kira Kira Fuyu no Shiny G and have sweet Reina dreams. I know I will.
By the way, my friend’s Berryz favorite is Risako. When he told me so, I showed him the ugliest picture of her ever and he wouldn’t believe it was the same girl. I took great pleasure in telling him it was definitely her and that I thought it was funny as hell he went for the ugly fat whore. He responded with empty threats of murder as well as calling me an asshole. My friend is so funny.
Possibly related posts:
Regarding Reina’s freakishly fucked up face and the reason some of us still would love to fuck it…
In Japanese culture there’s this thing called wabisabi. I’ll quote the Wiki entry on the subject real quick:
“Wabi-sabi (侘寂) represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience. The phrase comes from the two words wabi and sabi. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is ‘imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete’”
Well, if that doesn’t sum up that mug then I don’t know what does. So, don’t worry folks; don’t laugh, sneer, point, and giggle. Don’t toss peanuts and throw garbage. Don’t get your friends together and storm off to UpFront HQ with torches in hand. You see, there’s an aesthetic at work here.
Crooked face or not, she’ll always be a total fuckbot to me. (^_^)
Regarding the pic of Risako…
I’m afraid wabisabi doesn’t cover this.
(please don’t tell me there’s still anyone out there who hasn’t heard it.)
*quietly raises hand*
In a way, I’m not that surprised your friend got a stronger reaction out of Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance. From this I conclude there’s two ways you can go if you’ll try to convert people, you either focus on the similarities to what they already like or you go the monkey way. If anybody could find some similarity between H!P and Metallica, well, I’d point to you, but I don’t see much hope there. So, throw him in the full H!P-ness of the Monkey Dance and see what happens.
About Reina’s face, isn’t it cute? To hell with photoshop, she’s beautiful. And it’s written in the second picture about the nose and mouth, they “fixed” that too, the bastards. I’d say “God’s as skilled as ever, he’s just adding some healthy variety” here if I weren’t an atheist.
On the other hand, seeing Risako’s picture, I’d say that “God is dead”.
First of all, god I love both you guys for those stabs at Risako. Hahaha. My friend must never see this post and your comments.
@delrey28: Oh wow, that’s educational! I was sort of aware of wabisabi, I just didn’t know what it was called. But I mean really, you sort of become aware that something like that must exist when you realize there are actually people out there who _like_ Kemeko. Anyway, you’re right, wabisabi definitely fits Reina. And yes, she is a total fuckbot no matter what.
@Harima: Aww. You poor Harima you. :( Maybe I’ll make a post about them at some point, you’ll see it then. You’re right about the ways to go about it, but more on that later, I’ll make a follow-up post on this soon. And Reina definitely is beautiful, I’m not denying that. Healthy variety though? Hmmm… Don’t know about that mate. I’d call it more a “happy accident.” :P And yes, seeing the Risako picture made me abandon my faith in God. True story.
@Harima: [On the other hand, seeing Risako’s picture, I’d say that “God is dead”.] – HAHA! I literally laughed out loud sitting here all by myself when I read that!
@Henkka: (sigh) Poor Kemeko. And more importantly, poor Kemeko fans. Although, I must admit, I think she looks great in that one H!P All Stars ep of Utaban. You know, the one where she brings her flute and Nakai-kun says, “What the hell have you been blowing lately?!”
Btw, I’m publishing a drunken post as we speak… It’s dumb. lol
For some reason, back in the day when my H!P fandoms were taking flight, or when I was still bothered about H!P, I took to reina really well. I lover her wonky face. it’s like, which side do I enjoy the most today? beyond that though, I can’t put a myth behind it. She’s just fucking wonky. gotta love wonky though.
as for your friend, nice. One of my friend girls, as we tactically put it, really enjoys some of the boybands, naturally. My cousin likes H!P but finds the whole Pining over idols thing too much emotional effort. which is fair enough. He doesn’t understand Koha – naturally – and enjoys Natsumi abe only when she frowns, and he’s in love with Mikitty. good choice.
@wu: “which side do I enjoy the most today?” Very well put! That’s exactly it. It’s actually magnificent how her face is so asymmetrical. It’s double the fun! Two very different sides to Reina, hehe. Wonky is indeed the best.
[...] … approachable. Unfortunately, right when I was about to explain to her how much coverage her facial configuration gets amongst my friends I was moved along to the next [...]
I would still put my willy in her nose.
@Ted: Hear hear! As would I, my friend.
YOU DOUCHEFUCK, HENKKA.
WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ANYBODY THAT PICTURE OF MY DARLING RISAKO ON PURPOSE?!
HONESTLY, HENKKA.
HONESTLY. D:<
@wendy: I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. But it had to be done.
*serious bit* I think there is a rare genetic condition where people are born with one side of their body smaller than the other – not just the face but the insides as well. My mate knows someone with that but she isn’t as cute as Reina.
*less serious bit* Speaking of Risako I remember seeing somewhere that she almost quit H!P because she thought she was so useless but her fans love her so much she decided to stay. And, Monkey Dance is awesome! It’s funky, fun and really stupid. I showed my friend the PV and she loved it.
*silly bit* Why doesn’t Risako ever smile?
*very silly bit* You know Maiha has gone a little tubby herself..
@Nightfaery: I’m sure it’s something to do with the genes, but saying she has a “genetic condition” might be pushing it a little, hehehe.
I think I know what you’re talking about with the Risako thing. She didn’t say that exactly, but I’m pretty sure she did say something kinda-sorta hinting at that in a live MC or something like that. Escapes my mind now which event in particular it was though. Huh, your friend was into Yuke Yuke right off the bat, too? Hmmm. Perhaps my thinking of that track being useless Berryz introductionary song was a misjudgement!
Fact: Risako can’t smile. She’s too fat.
Fact: Maiha can’t be fat. She’s too poor.
Hey, what’s up with all the hate, Risako is cute and she does smile. Here
http://www.hellproject.com/images/097eaf3f53f8c0a4598e00c400d4d6e47cd92611/Sugaya_Risako_56.jpg
http://www.hellproject.com/images/3122f9333d7b4d6fe0dc94626864d2ff61b3ad60/Sugaya_Risako_1324.jpg
@phr: Pssh! I know, I know. She can be adorable at times, too, especially that first link you posted, that’s my fave pic of her ever actually. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to occasionally make fat jokes about her! (Note: by “occasionally“, I mean “whenever humanly possible“)