Stupid bullshit Henkka says
Posted in Personal on May 23rd, 2012 19:09 by HenkkaYou know the feeling of when you read something you said in the past, and you just think to yourself, “what the hell was I thinking when I said that?“
That, my friends, is what “stupid bullshit Henkka says” is about. Please join me as I’ll be going down memory lane, searching for really embarrassing stuff I’ve said on the blog before. Then, rather than deleting that stuff off the face of the internet, I’m going to take the offensive material and post it here for you to point and laugh at, and for me to state why I think it’s bullshit. You with me? Are you good for some laughs? Let’s go then.
First up is a real good one! And by “real good”, I mean “awful”. This is from a post in January 2008 when I made a post on liking Japanese music. All in all, it’s an embarrassing read. I can sort of, kind of see what I was trying to say in there, but it all falls so short. Not one of my favorite posts, to say the least. However, it’s not an offensive post… until the middle of the post when I say this:
I still seem to have a sense of telling if the music I am hearing is bad or not, no matter if it’s Japanese or not. And even if I listen to lots of music many would deem bad, I still have the clear thought in my mind that my taste in music is superior to anyone else’s… by far. :)
I get sort of angry at just the thought of me writing that. First and foremost, the question I want to ask my 18-year-old self… why the hell did I think it was a good idea to use smileys? Someone invent a machine that enables you to go back in time to smack your past self in the face.
In any case… four years later, and I absolutely do not agree with the above statement. In fact, I just checked, and a year ago I even wrote a comment, explicitly stating:
I absolutely don’t mean to say my taste in music is any better than anyone who’s read the post.
Well, there goes my integrity as a blogger!
Harima commented on the post saying he liked my attitude in saying that, and I get that. I like the occasional “fuck you” to the reader, too. I just wish it hadn’t been me who wrote that. I actually sort of still remember what the Henkka four years ago was trying to say with that, though. I can still recall what prompted me to write it. I was reading a blog, and the author of it made a little off-hand comment, sort of just saying “… I listen to crappy music though, so don’t listen to me” or something of the sort. It made me think to myself, “Really? You really feel that way?” I mean… if you’re consciously thinking to yourself, “Jesus, this song is fucking awful” and yet you still listen to it, then alright, I can see how you might feel that way. However, if that isn’t the case…
I don’t know. At some point I just sort of came to think that there is no shitty music. Yeah, I still am as guilty as the next guy in calling songs shitty. I mean, it’s fun! (And believe me, I’m fighting myself really hard not to make a stab at metalcore here.) But really… this is going to sound so obvious when I put it like this, but no, I think there is no shitty music. There is no good music. There’s just music. Regardless of its public opinion, regardless of how sophisticated it is music theory-wise, regardless of how much (or how little) it has sold… does any of that really hold any importance? If something is loved by half the world today, if it’s indisputably f’ing genius level in musical sophistication, even if it’s the no. 1 most sold album in the world ever… what does all of that amount to if it sounds like shit to your ears? Could you feel sorry for not listening to some allegedly incredible band — say, something that’s supposed to be musically light years ahead of what you listen to — if all their music sounds to you like a variation of this? Oh yeah, you’re really missing out.
Yeah, I know, Black Sabbath are supposed to be pioneers of metal and Lady Gaga is the savior of pop music as we know it, and apparently I’m missing out on more than I can ever know when I don’t listen to them… but fuck that, man. I’d rather listen to complete, deafening silence. Do I think they’re inherently bad, though? Not at all, I just don’t see the appeal. Me, I think The Beatles is some of the best music ever, and yet, I’m willing to bet that at the very least a good half of you reading this want me to take my Beatles bullshit elsewhere and not litter your RSS reader with it. Regardless of the countless people who think it’s timeless music, regardless of the fact that they’re the best-selling music artist ever, I still don’t think your disinterest or dislike for them is at all unjust. You just find little or no value in their music — or you just plain don’t give a shit — just like how I feel with Black Sabbath and Lady Gaga… and a whole damned bunch of other artists. (I swear, for a guy that calls himself a music lover? You’d be surprised at how much of a picky asshole I am.)
My opinion on the matter as of now (subject to change at any time): I don’t think my taste in music is better than yours, and I also don’t think yours is any better than mine. We just like different shit, and if you and me were forced to solely listen to each others’ favorite music starting tomorrow, I think we’d both be really unhappy about it… to say the least.
And there you have it. From “I know my taste is superior, bitch” to “We’re all our own person! Peace and love to the world! Legalize it! Koala bears! Free hugs!!” Man… I think I’m mellowing out.
Do you guys have any favorite stories of times when you couldn’t help but cringe at inane shit you’d said before? If so, please share. Also, if you remember me saying something really stupid on the blog (or stuff that contradicts with what I’m saying about stuff these days), let me know and it may be featured in a future episode of “Stupid bullshit Henkka says”!
Fun fact: this post has 1118 words, 10 of which are (or include) the word “shit”.
For me personally, I’ve never found an issue with writing a post that will probably echo a billion other posts. In the past (so very long ago lol) I remember pouring my heart out to Sayu and trying to convince my few readers at the time that it’s not what Sayu can do, but what she ‘can’t do’ that made her so special, much like Koharu was a dud, but sort of fantastic at the same time. And I know a lot of other people were writing the same sort of stuff. You either have to tell yourself that you don’t care or, to be a bit of a dick: think your way of expressing the same opinions is going to trump theirs. We always had some friendly rivalries at IW I felt, and that helped spur on the content — we were always wanting to put out good stuff to keep up with our contemporaries. It went downhill for me on two counts. 1) I was actually falling out of love for H!P, and that was my main base for blogging back then, and 2) I flaked out of the deal with Nicole and ruined half my IW/Wotachat friendships in the process.
As for giving a shit about other people actually reading my content: not really. I think my reboots after My Pleasant Vista were all covert operations, and just the process of writing back then was enough. But I concede that being a voice on IW for a couple years did, in it’s way, act as sort of an advert or more of a public voice for myself, all of which I admit was a turn on.
I think you’ve come on fine since I first linked you on IW. At worst I always enjoyed your sense of humour on your blog, which is why we’re drinking buddies (on occasion), but your writing has improved to and I always like what you have to say. I’ve had a lot of laughs on here that’s for sure, and sometimes a lot to think about — like this post.
And to end this stupidly long comment, yes, we’re not back in 2005 or whatever anymore. We’re all old people now, with bigger beards and, in sb’s case: bigger problems.
From an old metalhead fan,
Wu
wu, you’re a beautiful man. Oh yeah… I remember the golden years of our blogging careers like it was yesterday. But now we’re older. It just hasn’t been the same since we celebrated your 17th birthday party last month.
well…you know…it’s a fact that we’re better writers now, but there’s either less time to flaunt it (life gets in the way) or we’re just less motivated than we used to be to get stuff out there. At least that’s how I feel. Interestingly I set this up a few months ago: http://interw.wordpress.com/ — you know what this was going to try and continue.
Let us never forget all the bat-shit-insane stuff we said in the past, because it made us who we are today. Plus, I know you still use smileys, at least with Yumi.
Let’s also never forget all the stuff we never said back then. Did you know that Asami Konno used to be one of my favourites? of course not! I kept that shit on the low. She’s lost some fat now — I don’t know why, do you? — but the things I wanted to store between her cheeks…and her boobs, but I was too nice back then to mention the latter. Rock on, tit wank!
Lack of motivation is a big one, yeah. Or, you know, the age old dilemma all bloggers writing about this stuff have to wrestle with: what to write about it. I mean, you don’t wanna write about the same stuff as everyone else. Also, the case often is that if you do want to say something, someone’s already said it. And even if you do have something “original” to say… well… changes are I’ll be thinking “does anyone really give a shit about what I think?” It does make me think “why bother?” I mean, I know I have readers, and even though I’m sure they care, I’m not happy unless I can articulate what I want to say perfectly. I’m still chasing after that perfect post, man.
Oh yeah, absolutely. It’s good to take these trips back down memory lane. Oh, and I didn’t mean to say I don’t use smileys (I do), but never within a blog post anymore. That stuff is completely inexcusable now.
Oh really? I dunno, somehow it doesn’t surprise me. When I think about it, you do seem like a Konno guy. wu the Konno man. Yeah, Konno losing her cheek curves, one of those big idol tragedies for sure. What good is a Konno cheek if it is not fat?
Ah man. My only regret is that I wish I’d become a H!P fan earlier so I would’ve been there, reading you blog about H!P in real time. I would’ve loved to hear your essays on Sayu being awesome because she sucks. You’re a bastard for not waiting longer to fall out of love with them.
Personally, I’ll admit I’m an attention whore in the sense that I need an audience. Though they’re very nice, I’ve learned to live with barely any comments (I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t since I hardly comment anywhere myself), but if my WP stats told me I had zero views on my posts, I definitely wouldn’t write anymore. I don’t really see the point. It’s just not very exciting. If no one’s reading, I could just write all this stuff on paper (or better yet in my mind) and be done with it. Unlike you, just the writing part itself doesn’t cut it for me.
Stop it. Your flattery is making me turned on. In any case, I’m happy to hear you’ve had good times on here, and I’m especially glad to hear about the many laughs. I don’t know what’s better about blogging: having people tell me they started loving new music because of me, or having people tell me they got a laugh out of something I said. I really don’t know which feels nicer, but both of those two is to me the best imaginable feedback. They’re the main two things I aim to do on this site, after all.
In any case. Yes, we’re old, and yes, our beards are impressive. And as for our writing… if I’m to go by the 2008 post linked above, I can’t help but feel that mine has turned for the better. And I dare say the same for you, too. So that’s all very good. Also, SB is a problem.
Forever your drinking buddy,
H
PS. Hoping to read your post for the Beatles roundtable soon.
I did this post about how Koharu-Nutjob-Kusumi couldn’t sing and how it pissed me off and how she shouldn’t wear fishnets because she’s an infant. And I know what I was going for with that, but I said it in such an ungraceful way. Reading it again several years later, it’s pretty painful, although I like the fact that I wasn’t worrying about any backlash when I wrote it. I tend to worry about that nowadays. The thing is, that post is ALWAYS my top post in the WP stats (unless I have just written a new one) because the title contains the words ‘jail-bait’ and people are perves. It’s hilarious and annoying as all hell. And I’m sorry I don’t comment more. I’m only JUST getting better with that/ ^_^’
Very interesting read lol. Its nice to see someone call themselves out once in awhile, I’m long overdue myself. At least you look at yourself from years ago and see things you wish you could slap yourself for saying.. I look at shit I say a week ago and feel that way.
Isilie: Yeah, it’s fun how a couple years ago I had no worries whatsoever about any backlash. I mean, not that I’m now afraid of haters or someone saying I’m an idiot for an opinion I’ve expressed… but I just like to make sure that I really mean what I say, and that I’m not talking too much out of my ass. That’s a bit unfortunate about the Koharu jailbait thing though, hehe. It’s funny how those sort of really irrelevant posts can get the most hits on a blog… for me, it’s this SNSD review I did. Sure, I thought it was a good album and all, but it’s like the only K-pop related post on this blog ever. No relevance whatsoever. Odd!
And no worries at all about the comments thing, like I said, I’m really bad at leaving comments myself, too!
iNSPIR1T: Thanks! Oh, I’m sure I have more recent idiotic things I’ve said that I ought to feel bad about. Just gotta go and find ‘em! Though maybe not stuff I said a week ago, but that’s only because I dwell so long on if I should make a post in the first place, and when I do, it takes me ages to write it. So in a way I have lots of time to sort of contemplate beforehand.
whoa whoa WHOA man WHAT?
lol, ok.
So, you don’t like Black Sabbath…
And Henkka, I’ve just noticed this mysterious post in your RSS feed. It’s called “On liking Japanese music… four years later”. Unfortunately your feed only has summary, so I can’t figure out what the whole thing was about. Entering the link leads me to a “No posts matched your criteria” page. I’m sad to think of the loss of a post with a title that sounds so promising.
Sag: I don’t indeed… perhaps that statement will be what I’ll look at in 2016 and laugh at.
Don’t worry, that post is scheduled to be published later today! Your wait will not go unrewarded.
I see you’ve been listening to ‘Think Different’ too mate!
Man. It`s posts like these that brought me to you way back when, my friend. I swear you are like the semi-scandinavian version of me. I say semi-scandinavian because I`m not entirely sure Finland is included in the umbrella term, scandinavian. Give me a break, I`ve been walking and drinking all day in Yokohama.
skald: Not for a while now. But it’s most definitely a philosophy that I now adhere to in life.
delrey: Thanks! Good to know I can still hold your interest. :) And no, Finland is not a part of Scandinavia for one reason or another… even though it’s right in there with the rest of ‘em countries included. Go figure. Hope you’re having fun in the J-land. Do give us a post or two to keep us updated, if you’re feeling up to it. Don’t force yourself though. Anyway, go have a drink!