Beat Laments The World

A metal-infused take on Asian music & other stuff

Maybe it’s time I finally whipped this out. Only took me a year and a half to hit “publish“. I’m getting better at this blogging stuff. In case you forgot, reviewing a concert H!P Metalhead style meant, first and foremost, to get drunk. The secondary, optional goal was to maybe write something about it if still possible. I wrote this in early June of ’09 but wasn’t happy with it because it’s a shit post. You can see I reached my drunken high in the first part and here I was basically just getting pissed off. But, in honor of it being the blog’s 3rd birthday today, I’ll go ahead and publish it anyway. Psh!

Another weekend, another bottle of vodka and most of all another look at the H!P Awards ’09 baby.

What will it take to get you to wipe that fucking smile off your face, Makoto?

16. Egao ni Namida ~THANK YOU! MY DEAR FRIENDS~ (Aya Matsuura with Melon Kinenbi, Atsuko Inaba, Yuki Maeda, Biyuuden, Morning Musume’s 8th generation, Berryz Koubou, °C-ute, Hello! Project Eggs)

Oddly random song choice or is it just me? Wouldn’t this have been exactly the concert where you’d just want to see the age-old classics performed one last time before being forgotten about? Right? Instead they went with an album cut from Ayaya’s first. Ah well. I suppose it’s in the spirit of H!P (and Tsunku): expect the unexpected. However, I’m a huge fan of everything-Ayaya so you won’t see me complain.

17. Hare Ame Nochi Suki (Morning Musume Sakura Gumi)

Though I don’t have much to say about this, it’s a performance I approve of. It’s a classic ain’t it? “I love you for what you are” and all that. Very good. Here, have an Ai-chan.

18. Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart~ (Morning Musume Otome Gumi)

Errr… skip. I hope I’m not the only one who found Otomegumi completely inferior to Sakuragumi. Don’t both of Otomegumi’s songs just bore you to tears? Besides, that euphenism (is that the word?) “touch my heart” is silly. That shouldn’t be proper English at all. (Well, unless it was meant literally. But then this would be a death metal song.) A long time ago there must’ve lived an English version of Henkka, sipping on… brandy? What do Englishmen drink in the first place? Brandy? Scotch? Anything cheap that tastes like piss? My point is, a long time ago there was a Brit Henkka, coming up with new words when drunk. And he was doing a piss-poor job.

Read more »

Yeah man. Hello! Project 2009 Winter Kettei! Hello! Pro Award ’09, Elder Club graduation special. I’ll tell you the truth right now: I still haven’t watched this one even though it came out all the way in… early April was it? I dunno, I just never got the proper chance to. Hell, I tried! It just… I always got distractred and did something else. I know, I know, I’m a bad fan. So be it. However, today, my faithful sneaky little bastard readers, today is the day.

As today is going to be my virgin viewing of this concert (and hey, also probably my last — I rarely go and rewatch anything), it means I’m definitely going to make the most of it. And just how do you think I “make the most” out of anything? Come on, do I really have to spell this out for you? Alcohol! So much alcohol, my liver would explode if I wasn’t Finnish. I think I read on Wikipedia once that Finnish people consist of 20% vodka anyway, meaning we handle our booze a little better than others. Granted, I may or may not have added that bit in there myself. It should still be there though, it’s the truth.

In essence, this means this review will get worse with every passing song. Hahaha, typing that out now, I realize what an utterly ridiculous idea this is. God I love myself. I won’t tomorrow though. Tomorrow I’ll wake up, read this and go “You’re kidding me, right? I wasted all this vodka just to write this?” and then proceed to cry a little bit. And then drink more. The circle of life, friends.

Alright. I’ve already had a bit of a headstart in the alcohol department as should be obvious from the arrogant post so far. I dunno… When I drink, I don’t become a violent person at all, but I do become exceedingly obnoxious and arrogant, like I’m on the top of the world. Which is understandable because well, I mean, I am the coolest person on Earth after all. Still, I should watch out for that. My friends, this concert is going to be pretty damned epic I hope.

*a couple of drinks later*

Fuckin’ A! I’m feeling great, let’s watch some Japanese chicks sing and dance and cry while holding bouquets of flowers awkwardly.

Read more »