Beat Laments The World

A metal-infused take on Asian music & other stuff

Maybe it’s time I finally whipped this out. Only took me a year and a half to hit “publish“. I’m getting better at this blogging stuff. In case you forgot, reviewing a concert H!P Metalhead style meant, first and foremost, to get drunk. The secondary, optional goal was to maybe write something about it if still possible. I wrote this in early June of ’09 but wasn’t happy with it because it’s a shit post. You can see I reached my drunken high in the first part and here I was basically just getting pissed off. But, in honor of it being the blog’s 3rd birthday today, I’ll go ahead and publish it anyway. Psh!

Another weekend, another bottle of vodka and most of all another look at the H!P Awards ’09 baby.

What will it take to get you to wipe that fucking smile off your face, Makoto?

16. Egao ni Namida ~THANK YOU! MY DEAR FRIENDS~ (Aya Matsuura with Melon Kinenbi, Atsuko Inaba, Yuki Maeda, Biyuuden, Morning Musume’s 8th generation, Berryz Koubou, °C-ute, Hello! Project Eggs)

Oddly random song choice or is it just me? Wouldn’t this have been exactly the concert where you’d just want to see the age-old classics performed one last time before being forgotten about? Right? Instead they went with an album cut from Ayaya’s first. Ah well. I suppose it’s in the spirit of H!P (and Tsunku): expect the unexpected. However, I’m a huge fan of everything-Ayaya so you won’t see me complain.

17. Hare Ame Nochi Suki (Morning Musume Sakura Gumi)

Though I don’t have much to say about this, it’s a performance I approve of. It’s a classic ain’t it? “I love you for what you are” and all that. Very good. Here, have an Ai-chan.

18. Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart~ (Morning Musume Otome Gumi)

Errr… skip. I hope I’m not the only one who found Otomegumi completely inferior to Sakuragumi. Don’t both of Otomegumi’s songs just bore you to tears? Besides, that euphenism (is that the word?) “touch my heart” is silly. That shouldn’t be proper English at all. (Well, unless it was meant literally. But then this would be a death metal song.) A long time ago there must’ve lived an English version of Henkka, sipping on… brandy? What do Englishmen drink in the first place? Brandy? Scotch? Anything cheap that tastes like piss? My point is, a long time ago there was a Brit Henkka, coming up with new words when drunk. And he was doing a piss-poor job.

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Yeah man. Hello! Project 2009 Winter Kettei! Hello! Pro Award ’09, Elder Club graduation special. I’ll tell you the truth right now: I still haven’t watched this one even though it came out all the way in… early April was it? I dunno, I just never got the proper chance to. Hell, I tried! It just… I always got distractred and did something else. I know, I know, I’m a bad fan. So be it. However, today, my faithful sneaky little bastard readers, today is the day.

As today is going to be my virgin viewing of this concert (and hey, also probably my last — I rarely go and rewatch anything), it means I’m definitely going to make the most of it. And just how do you think I “make the most” out of anything? Come on, do I really have to spell this out for you? Alcohol! So much alcohol, my liver would explode if I wasn’t Finnish. I think I read on Wikipedia once that Finnish people consist of 20% vodka anyway, meaning we handle our booze a little better than others. Granted, I may or may not have added that bit in there myself. It should still be there though, it’s the truth.

In essence, this means this review will get worse with every passing song. Hahaha, typing that out now, I realize what an utterly ridiculous idea this is. God I love myself. I won’t tomorrow though. Tomorrow I’ll wake up, read this and go “You’re kidding me, right? I wasted all this vodka just to write this?” and then proceed to cry a little bit. And then drink more. The circle of life, friends.

Alright. I’ve already had a bit of a headstart in the alcohol department as should be obvious from the arrogant post so far. I dunno… When I drink, I don’t become a violent person at all, but I do become exceedingly obnoxious and arrogant, like I’m on the top of the world. Which is understandable because well, I mean, I am the coolest person on Earth after all. Still, I should watch out for that. My friends, this concert is going to be pretty damned epic I hope.

*a couple of drinks later*

Fuckin’ A! I’m feeling great, let’s watch some Japanese chicks sing and dance and cry while holding bouquets of flowers awkwardly.

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Tsunku has a knack for writing very nice, moving songs, that are often most effectively put to use in graduation concerts. Indeed, the full impact of most of these songs’ nostalgia and their touching quality reveals itself only after you see them being sung as someone is graduating. There’s just something about watching performances where everyone is busy crying their eyes out to the extent that they can barely even sing the song, let alone breathe. Delicious, sweet girly tears, guys. They will make any song better.

5th: Morning Musume – Never Forget:

This song really is quite touching. It’s sung practically solo by Asuka Fukuda who was leaving Morning Musume at that point, and later also covered by Kemeko. I always thought Fukuda was a great vocalist back then. It’s amazing she was only 13 at the time Ai no Tane was released and she was just as good of a singer as the rest of the 1st generation, probably even better than Kaori and definitely better (at that point) than any of the 2nd generation girls. Just imagine how her vocals might sound today if she had been a member of Momusu all these years!

With that said, something about Asuka always irritated me… namely the fact that she never showed basically any interest to be in Morning Musume. She was always the odd one out. Even at her graduation concert as they were singing this and everyone else was crying their eyes out, Asuka was smiling there all “awww, you guys…”, just happy she was finally getting the hell out of that group. Even if I’m not a huge fan of all girls who were in Morning Musume, I’ve never wished for anyone to leave since they obviously all wanted to be there as they were having fun and giving it their all. The exception is Asuka. She never seemed enthusiastic about anything. That never stood well with me to be honest.

Now, I realize that could be partly due to her age. Like I said, she WAS 13 at the time she joined Momusu. Goto was too and she got along just fine, but kids can be different. It might’ve just been too much for Asuka at the time. However, that still doesn’t explain the fact that she never, not even ONCE to my knowledge, showed even the slightest hint of childish satisfaction or whatever for being in a pop music group.

Still, even with all that said, it is a touching song. Even my distaste for Asuka’s… disinterest can’t change that!

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A reminder of Kemeko‘s awesomeness.

Also, I put up a new poll. It’s shamefully perverted this time around. Hope you like it. By the way, Saki here refers to Berryz Saki. All questions regarding my choices will be happily ignored.

Here are the results from the previous poll.

Nice. Good to see my vote winning. Funny thing is though that her single got pushed back to December. Fuckers. Anyway, go and vote in the poll.